CRACKED ROUND-UP: HALLOWEEN EDITION PLUS A SPECIAL PRIZE!
That's right, a special prize! If you live in Nevada this prize will be especially useful to you, but you folks who just in general like the idea of winning things should pay attention to.
On December 11th, hilarious comedian Aziz Ansari will be performing stand-up at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, Nevada and somehow we got our hands on two free tickets. We're not legally allowed to leave the state, so we're just going to give them away. Leave a message in the comments telling us why you deserve the tickets and, if you convince us and/or make us laugh really hard, we'll straight up give them to you, no questions asked. We call it The First Annual We Are Bad At Coming Up With Creative Contests contest. (Hopefully your comment will be slightly more creative.)
This week, Soren Bowie gave us a chilling look at dangerous youthful experimentation with witchcraft and politicians. Bucholz delivered a hard-hitting interview with the founder of Wikileaks, followed by a 10-year-old Brockway's guide to kicking ass. Seanbaby sifted through the the mind-raping horror that is a Blizzcon Q&A, and Dan O'Brien dared to ask unsettling questions about Randy Quaid.
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VERIFIED
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 Who needs ghost stories when you have terrifying reality?
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Notable Comment:"I got my toes frostbitten one time. A few days later when I pulled my socks off, my toenails came off. Didn't hurt or anything. After a while they grew back. "
We'll never get this image Skata conjured up out of our heads, and now neither will any of you.
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HOLY SHIT
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 You'll never look at your web browser the same way again.
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Notable Comment:"It is my civic duty to troll jamie masters until her ass explodes it will be the first troll related assplosion in recorded history."
Attention Scary-Mike: Just because you can be an asshole, doesn't mean you have to be an asshole.
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FREAKY FOREIGNERS
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 People from other countries are crazy.
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Notable Comment: "how the hell can you stay alive for five minutes without laughing yourself to death from your own hilarious awesomness?"
Ketamine, rodvinsky, lots and lots of ketamine.
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DO NOT LIKE
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 Really, it's surprising MORE people don't build things out of human bones. It's an endlessly renewable resource!
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Notable Comment: "Well, I thought I was quite the little trooper until you brought out the f**king wall of skulls. "
PoorEdgarDerby, we'll pay you twenty dollars if you'll spend a night there.
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JUST WEIRD
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 Explain these, MR. SCIENTIST! Except really please don't. Answers aren't very fun.
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Notable Comment: "Just wanted to point out... everyone with every phone number will die. Just to put things in perspective."
Well then Darth_Chimay, it follows logically that refusing to own a phone guarantees immortality.
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Agents of Cracked
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 Beware the Book of Faces.
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YOU YOU YOU!
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 We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, The Plot Twists Famous Movies Should Have Had
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10.28.10:
Hi. Sports Illustrated? Yeah, no... no I got the swimsuit issue. I was just calling to cancel my subscription.
by Abaddonalpha
Editor's pick:
Trust me: If she asks you if you want her to "make them talk" say "no."
by Diasdiem
10.27.10:
And none of the swans ever fucked with the ugly duckling again.
by bigkahuna71
Editor's pick:
"OK ladies, now remember. Unless you hold up the sticks with hands on them, this won't make any sense."
by Malaclips
10.26.10:
"This one is dedicated to missing Charlene and her heartbroken family. It's called Bloody Doom Blood Massacre..."
by sybo
Editor's pick:
Well, that's one way to get people to pay more attention to Amber Alerts.
by Diasdiem
10.25.10:
This is the kind of crap you get when musicians don't use drugs.
by Abaddonalpha
Editor's pick:
Disproving the theory that all musicians score with the ladies
by bcanders
10.24.10:
Never cut off Poseidon on the interstate!
by Ceveron
Editor's pick:
Michael Bay washes his car...
by bubblebrain
10.23.10:
The moral: If you're blind, you might not want to piss off the person who lays your clothes out for you.
by TACT
Editor's pick:
He's counting the seconds left before the government beats him up.
by Exiasprip
10.22.10:
"Look, all's I'm saying is that if you're gonna argue that Nietzsche's existential identity was...oh, shit, Earl. I knocked the fuckin' pyramid over. My bad."
by jtklove
Editor's pick:
People often forget the true victims of the earthquake in Haiti
by Cchisle90
