CRACKED ROUND-UP: Binary Edition!
01001000011001010110110001101100011011110010-you know what, fuck this. It takes too damn long and way too damn many numbers. Seriously, that's like, two fucking words up there. If robots could feel boredom they'd commit suicide within three pico-seconds of booting up.
Are you a fan of the Decemberists? If so, Cody's tribute to their uniquely shitty music might pique your interest. Soren followed up with a list of terrible crimes committed by the worst people on earth, senior citizens. Next, Bucholz wrote up some tips for the reluctant parent while Brockway put up some photos of badassery in action.
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FILM FAILURES
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 But hey, the joy is in the journey-right? |
Notable Comment:
"Another thing about Avatar is that Jake never actually tells the Na'vi what the "sky people" want. He becomes one of them and sleeps with Neytiri but doesn't tell them they want the mineral."
Oh yeah, britticus1232, that's exactly what we need. Didn't you get enough alien trade disputes in the Star Wars prequels?
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ARTSY FARTSY
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 Seven more works of art, ruined by Cracked. |
Notable Comment:"Seems to me you can mock Christians all you want, but dare say anything about islam and the 9/11 victory mosque and you're a xenophobic racist?"
Fuck. Defiant1 has uncovered our secret anti-Christian conspiracy. LONG LIVE TERRORISM!
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YAY FOR WAR
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 Tens of millions of dead and ruin across the globe are a small price to pay for twinkies and tabasco sauce. |
Notable Comment:"War, whats it good for? ABOSOLUTLY SOMTHIN!"
Jaket2000 has the right of it. We should start another one, in Mexico or something. Maybe it'll bring us the world's first spam-twinkie.
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UNTHOUGHT FANCY
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 They don't do much product testing in the future, do they? |
Notable Comment:
"I'll take Adam West over any of those other "Batmans"."
We chose to highlight Leebo13's post both because we agree with it, and because every other fucking comment on that article was an argument for or against the AT-AT's practicality.
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UP YOURS BROTHER
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 No, FEMA death camps aren't on this list. Why? Because threatened us with if we . |
Notable Comment:
"Have you heard the Good News of 3Gsus?"
Preach the gospel, arcxjo.
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Eliza Skinner
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 Daaaaay-mn.
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YOU YOU YOU!
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 We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, Facebook Fails of Fictional Characters
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8.26.10:
San Francisco slot machines work a little differently...
by Kamikaze Phoenix
Editor's pick:
This is why I stopped huffing glue on school days.
by bcanders
8.25.10:
FOR THE LAST TIME, HUMANS, HAVE YOU SEEN MY FUCKING KITTY?!
by savinator
Editor's pick:
"I DEMAND YOU BUY MAGAZINES SO THAT I MAY WIN A PIZZA PARTY WITH 4 OF MY FRIENDS!
by Joey_09876
8.24.10:
"Whatever Dad, it still doesn't make up for you leaving Mom."
by LilMcGil
Editor's pick:
"It followed me home. Can I worship it?"
by geniuswaitress
8.23.10:
Diary Entry #529: If Randy makes another "Why The Long Face Joke", I'll engulf his soul...
by Exiasprip
Editor's pick:
Party in the back, soul-crushing cosmic insanity in the front.
by savinator
8.22.10:
An attempt to expose World of Warcraft players to fresh air, sunlight and normal human interactions wasn't initially successful.
by Joey_09876
Editor's pick:
He was so proud. He had practiced hours and hours just to get the "hello earthlings" gesture just right.
by krishnasook
8.21.10:
How the Grinch stole Oktoberfest.
by chadington
Editor's pick:
There are no cars, bikes, or motorcycles permitted, but Johnny was perfectly within law to fly his doomsday machine.
by ThePoop
8.20.10:
Let's be honest. It makes as much sense as your religion
by bcanders
Editor's pick:
In Japan, when children ask where babies come from, they are shown this.
by xgrendelx
