Cracked Round-Up: Poison Ivy Edition
So, it turns out you can't get high from smoking poison ivy. What you CAN get is a fatal lung infection and an agonizingly slow demise. In unrelated news, we're about to have a new opening in our Intern program!
Are you terrified by homeless people too? If so, Fortey's column on Hobophobia is right up your alley. Bucholz unveiled the middle-aged male equivalent of Harry Potter, while Seanbaby gave us yet another blast of Man Comics. Brockway turned his imagination towards the origin of the new JJ Abrams trailer. Dan O'Brien closed us off with the downside of corporate sponsorship.
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ERROR
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 The 7 Most Disastrous Typos Of All Time
Proofreading is kind of important. |
Notable Comment:
"Maybe not quite as big as some of the others on the list but the misplacing of a comma in the Tarriff act of 1872 cost the US treasury over a million dollars. It should have read "fruit plants, tropical and semi-tropical" were exempt from tax but a clerk copied it down as "fruit, plants tropical and semi-tropical" I spose a million was plenty money back then "
Thanks for the history lesson, CharlieUnterman.
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HERO
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 6 People You've Never Heard Of Who Probably Saved Your Life
What have YOU done today? Was it "saving over a billion lives"? Slacker. |
Notable Comment:
"Although Norman's intentions were noble; unfortunately his work has contributed greatly to parasitic agribusiness and the ruining of subsistence farmers and environmental destruction where subsistence farms are replaced by high yeild farms. At least he recognizes this."
Yeah Becquerel, we're still going to say that saving over a billion lives is a net good.
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RIP-OFF
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 The 6 Most Psychotic Rip-Offs Of Famous Animated Films
We may need to destroy Pixar, just to stop more of these abominanimations from coming into existence. |
Notable Comment:
"damn, that bee movie could give a kid seizures. the wings flashing made it so i couldn't see anything else in the clip."
pcelvcitrs, if that movie were seizure-inducing we'd be much happier with it. Seizures are like free drugs!
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CRIMINAL
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 The 5 Most Famous Musicians (Who Are Thieving Bastards)
Plagiarism is the path to stardom. |
Notable Comment:
"How about Elvis he stole a bunch of songs "
Tribar42, Elvis stole a lot more than just songs. He stole our hearts.
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PIRACY
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 5 Insane File-Sharing Panics From Before The Internet
See? Piracy isn't the Internet's fault. Call the RIAA guys, the war's over. |
Notable Comment:
"you f**king people. you're not allowed to "see someone's point and disagree." This is the goddamn intertube! You are required by government statutes to reject the opinions and insights of others at face value and then overreact by restating your point WORD FOR WORD IN CAPS LOCK!! are you trying to ruin this s**t for everyone? I insult whatever political party indoctrinated you in favor of my own! "
Chump presents; every comment post ever.
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DOES NOT COMPUTE
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 The World's Most Horrifying Toilets
Swaim is a brave robot.
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YOU YOU YOU!
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 Instructional Diagrams For People Who Suck At Everyday Life
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, If Fictional Characters Wrote Tell-All Books.
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5.06.10:
I am now just 200 gallons of Coke and 30,000 Mentos away from being the first Mexican in space...
by JasonGill
Editor's pick:
Mexico's newest superhero: Agua-Man.
by Bell110
5.05.10:
It's pretty difficult to offend both Mexicans and Germans in one go, but somehow some people manage it pretty well.
by Bator
Editor's pick:
"Yes, you in the back? Excellent question. The answer is yes, I WILL, in fact, destroy you and consume your immortal soul, and I prefer boxers to briefs."
by jtklove
5.04.10:
Before the light-bulb, having a great idea could kill you.
by Zaphod
Editor's pick:
"Joel, there's no excuse for bad manners. Now stop screaming and say 'I want a glass of water, PLEASE...'"
by Leaf
5.03.10:
After funding was lost and the nursing home closed, many of the elderly returned to the wild.
by Kamikaze Phoenix
Editor's pick:
Someone explain to Grampa how to use Twitter.
by Jokester
5.02.10:
Nobody organizes scavenger hunts like the Mafia!
by geniuswaitress
Editor's pick:
Lets see that chocolate get to my thighs now!
by yungblud21
5.01.10:
Some days you just wake up and say to yourself "I am going out to get coffee, and I am NOT waiting in any goddamn line."
by Kamikaze Phoenix
Editor's pick:
Rather than concealing the gun, John decided to just divert the crowds attention.
by Mr_Shmoo
4.30.10:
The only people ever to reach the highest level of Scientology.
by Leaf
Editor's pick:
Too bad only one gets to be Pope.
by geniuswaitress
