Notes On the First Draft of Superman Returns
Bry guy! Really dug the script. I think you've got it headed in a fresh direction that' really going to work for us. That being said, there were a couple of things that we thought were a little "out there," that we might want to tweak.
Page 15-We were a little surprised by the revelation that Superman is not only vulnerable to Kryptonite, but high auto insurance rates as well. I liked how you brought it full circle when Clark Kent is rescued by the gecko from those Geico commercials, but we might want to rethink the whole sequence. Also, we're not ones to turn down product placement dollars, but it was
Page 45-
The scene where Superman fights the Soggies really has nothing to do with the rest of the film. I'll admit that it' heart stopping when the Soggies almost kill him, and a moment of triumph when Cap'n Crunch shows up and sends them to a bloody, yet crunchy grave, but we're just not sure how much this adds to the overall narrative.
Page 60-
The hot air balloon chase made no sense whatsoever. It was as if you temporarily forgot that Superman can fly.
Page 75-
You indicate that you'd like for Lois Lane' 10 minute catnap to take place in real time. We feel strongly that this might significantly slow the pace of the film.
Page 90-
Having Superman fly around in nothing but his shirt and cape was a little creepy. As a general rule of thumb, 10 minutes is way too long for a scene featuring full frontal nudity and zero dialogue.
Page 95-The scene where Superman and Clark Kent run into each other at a night club, and have a 'dance-off' makes absolutely no sense. Even stranger, you never find out who wins.
Page 110-
The climax was extremely confusing. Lex Luthor has Superman backed into a corner and is about to kill him, when suddenly and out of nowhere, a unicorn comes charging at the villain and stabs him right in the heart with his horn. You have the unicorn wink at the camera, thank Superman for no reason, and disappear without ever being explained. I guess we just really didn't get why this happened.
Page 120-
Perhaps our strongest objection is at the end when Superman assures the world that he'll always be there for them and flies off into the moonlight. This would have been a perfectly acceptable place to end the film, so we were a little disappointed with your decision to have Superman look at the camera and say, "I'm super-hungry. What could satisfy my super-appetite?" Again, we love the product placement revenue, but we're just not quite sure that Superman would knock all those cars out of the way in the Taco Bell drive thru. We understand that he' hungry but this just seems unnecessarily mean and out of character. The final five minutes of the film, in which Superman does nothing but try to figure out what he wants to order from the Taco Bell value menu, dragged a bit. And we'd strongly suggest you reconsider your decision to have Lex Luthor, who had been killed not 10 minutes prior, join him for dinner, along with Clark Kent and the Green Lantern.
Again, just minor tweaks. I think this film is close to a green light. Just let us know if you think you'd be willing to budge on any of these points.
