15 of the Creepiest Chuck E. Cheese Characters
![15 of the Creepiest Chuck E. Cheese Characters](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/7/881207_320x180.jpg)
Chuck E. Cheese and the associated Showbiz Pizza Place (split off and eventually emerged in a battle that will be known to history as the Animatronic Pizza Wars) hit on a brilliant business plan in the latter half of the 20th century: casinos for children. We all have fond memories of celebrating our and our friends’ birthdays by pumping token after token into machines that did little more than spit out tickets in response, running resolutely past the salad bar without even a single perfunctory glance, and sitting down to murder some pizza while trying our best to ignore the robots singing lifelessly on the stage.
Because they were weird, right? Maybe it was the wide, unblinking eyes. Maybe it was the slow, stiff movements reminiscent of a reanimated corpse. Whatever averted you specifically (or aroused you, specifically), there’s no denying those bot stars were unsettling, sometimes inappropriate, and yes, occasionally racist.
Pizzacam
![CRACKED TV PIZZACAM There are plenty of innocent reasons one might be filming at a children's restaurant, but why is he smiling like that? Is he trying to blackmail us? Is he a perv? Is he from the insurance company? Who do you work for, Pizzacam? WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/2/2/881222.jpg)
Murray D. Bird
![CRACKED MURRAY D. BIRD You expect a cuckoo bird to be a little zany, but maybe not, like, in a doomsday sense. Little Click, as he was also known, did little more than pop out with his arms and eyes raised to the heavens like Hellmo. What's he summoning? It's best not to know.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/2/1/881221.jpg)
Frog
![CRACKED FROG They never even bothered to give this guy, who sat on a hippie bear's surfboard, an actual name, probably because no one wanted to spend too much time thinking about it. They did at least change his terrifying eyes from red to blue at some point, which demonstrates some semblance of awareness, but like, not enough, man. Not enough.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/2/0/881220.jpg)
Antioch
![CRACKED The RO 11 نذا ANTIOCH The company did take some liberties with history, such as giving Fatz Geronimo a gigantic pet spider. It descended from the ceiling during their shows like the future nightmare that it was. Are we sure this was a kids' show and not some kind of deeply unethical experiment?](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/6/881216.jpg)
Rolfe DeWolfe
![CRACKED PLAUSE ROLFE DEWOLFE Rolfe DeWolfe was originally Colonel Stonewall J. Fox of the Confederate Critter Show, so that's, uh, not great. You might think the change signaled enlightenment, but after joining Fatz Geronimo, he constantly antagonized him and called him a big fat monkey. Side of hate crime with your pizza, kids?](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/3/881213.jpg)
Fatz Geronimo
![CRACKED FATZ GERONIMO It's bad enough to make a piano-playing New Orleansian named Fatz Geronimo a gorilla, but some incarnations of the character seriously look like a minstrel show. Не was eventually retooled as a paler, friendlier-looking monkey, but only to make him less intimidating and which also, it should be noted, isn't better.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/5/881215.jpg)
Uncle Klunk
![CRACKED UNCLE KLUNK Imagine this thing staring down at you, and now imagine it has the voice of Goofy. Uncle Kluck was literally advertised as an abomination, so it's not like they didn't know. Не was eventually given a makeover as Uncle Pappy, which involved slapping glasses and a beard made out of Dolli Dimples's hair on him. That's much less weird.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/0/881210.jpg)
The Singing Flowers
![CRACKED THE SINGING FLOWERS What could possibly be so bad about singing flowers? Their giant, gaping smiles. We don't wanna know how they got these scars or why it made them so hungry for human souls, but we're convinced the act of creating these things gave birth to the Smile monster.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/7/881217.jpg)
The Four Little Shavers
![CRACKED LOU'S OPE LACE THE FOUR LITTLE SHAVERS Chucky's barbershop quartet was pretty normal except only one of them was allowed to move. The others just kind of shook stiffly like they were both paralyzed and having a seizure, which was considered top notch entertainment for the brand's short-lived ice cream parlors.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/9/881219.jpg)
The Beach Bowzers
![CRACKED THE BEACH BOWZERS The copyright-dodging Beach Boys were really only creepy in terms of what they were made of. No, not the souls of children lost in the ball pit (as far as we know). The Beach Bowzers were built from the corpses of the Beagles, their copyright-dodging Beatles act, like some kind of elevated horror movie about our culture's hunger for the next big thing.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/8/881218.jpg)
Family Album
![CRACKED FAMILY ALBUM They were a family band that was only used temporarily, for very good reason. The Osmonds from hell were only installed briefly at restaurants in three states that were experiencing animatronics shortages (?), but one look at their giant black eyes makes you wonder why they were made at all. Probably something ritualistic.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/8/881208.jpg)
Dolli Dimples
![CRACKED DOLLI DIMPLES Aside from looking like she Big Bad Wolfed Ronald McDonald's grandmother, this was one family-unfriendly hippo. She was basically Miss Patty from Gilmore Girls, often reminiscing of her many husbands and making sexual jokes. Inappropes, Dolli.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/1/881211.jpg)
King Kat
![CRACKED KING KAT The singing lion was also known as Michael Katzon, so you see where this is going. Chuck Е. Cheese introduced the character, dressed in Jackson's signature red jacket and sparkly glove, in 1984 and fortunately scrapped it before it would have become incredibly weird.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/2/881212.jpg)
Looney Bird
![CRACKED Smory MOUNTAIN HOE Do TONIC AT Lod LOONEY BIRD Billy Bob's sidekick also looks deeply haunted, but we know exactly why. Whenever he spoke, he was whacked over the head by another (not uncreepy in her own right) character, Billy Bob's mother, presumably traumatizing him into deranged silence. Family fun!](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/1/4/881214.jpg)
Billy Bob Brockali
![CRACKED DICK THE RTHDAY BOY BILLY BOB BROCKALI So creepy, a photo of him with a birthday boy went viral in 2014. Yes, it's very funny that the child is wearing a shirt that says Dick the Birthday Boy, but it's Billy Bob's twisted mouth and soulless eyes that really make it. Those eyes have seen some shit.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/0/9/881209.jpg)