12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

The latest ignominious addition to the Mount Rushmore of terrible sculpted resemblances is Dwyane Wade’s. Professional athletes are muscular, but that muscle mass isn’t focused entirely in their jaw.

No one who truly loved Lucy would make her look like a vengeful ghost from an abandoned mental hospital.

Maybe, before you get to work on the details, take a couple steps back and make sure that the pieces are all in the right place.

It can be hard to make metal eyes look lively. The solution is definitely not leaving them out entirely, making it look like you bronzed a Halloween mask.

I’m sure there’s some statement or artistic reasoning behind them making Oscar Wilde out of… seemingly night crawlers? Unfortunately, I have no idea what it is.

The guy truly can’t be that hard to portray. All you had to do was beat the living seaweed creature version, and instead, you made him look hornier than any of Earth’s creatures have ever been.

“When do you think you’ll be done? Oh, you are done. Hmm.”

The wonky face on the beloved Crocodile Hunter isn’t great, but to do the same thing to his kids? Someone stop this sculptor before he creates a nightmare version of another family.

Michael Jackson had multiple iconic looks. I do not remember the one where he was a particularly slender zombie.

Given that this guy was a Confederate general and a Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, I’m perfectly fine with him getting this piss-poor form of recognition.

You think pissing off a celebrity is bad? Try pissing off an entire country by portraying what was supposed to be one of the most beautiful women in Egyptian history as what looks like a repurposed Marge Simpson statue.

Not bad, per se, but in a bit of a “never unsee” moment, it’s been pointed out that he doesn’t seem to have any beard markings. Just the kind of massive, superhero chin that could compress coal into diamonds.