12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects
If you’re looking to portray anyone in art, it’s a good idea to make sure your version isn’t insulting. When you’re working in sculpture, and the art you’re creating is meant to be a way for that person to be remembered forever? You want to make sure it’s an image of them they want people of the future looking at.
Unfortunately, sometimes the bronze or stone isn’t that kind.
Dwyane Wade
The latest ignominious addition to the Mount Rushmore of terrible sculpted resemblances is Dwyane Wade’s. Professional athletes are muscular, but that muscle mass isn’t focused entirely in their jaw.
Lucille Ball
No one who truly loved Lucy would make her look like a vengeful ghost from an abandoned mental hospital.
Cristiano Ronaldo
Maybe, before you get to work on the details, take a couple steps back and make sure that the pieces are all in the right place.
James Dean
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It can be hard to make metal eyes look lively. The solution is definitely not leaving them out entirely, making it look like you bronzed a Halloween mask.
Oscar Wilde
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I’m sure there’s some statement or artistic reasoning behind them making Oscar Wilde out of… seemingly night crawlers? Unfortunately, I have no idea what it is.
Oscar Wilde (Again)
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The guy truly can’t be that hard to portray. All you had to do was beat the living seaweed creature version, and instead, you made him look hornier than any of Earth’s creatures have ever been.
Melania Trump
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“When do you think you’ll be done? Oh, you are done. Hmm.”
Steve Irwin
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The wonky face on the beloved Crocodile Hunter isn’t great, but to do the same thing to his kids? Someone stop this sculptor before he creates a nightmare version of another family.
Michael Jackson
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Michael Jackson had multiple iconic looks. I do not remember the one where he was a particularly slender zombie.
Nathaniel Bedford Forrest
Given that this guy was a Confederate general and a Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, I’m perfectly fine with him getting this piss-poor form of recognition.
Nefertiti
You think pissing off a celebrity is bad? Try pissing off an entire country by portraying what was supposed to be one of the most beautiful women in Egyptian history as what looks like a repurposed Marge Simpson statue.
Christ the Redeemer
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Not bad, per se, but in a bit of a “never unsee” moment, it’s been pointed out that he doesn’t seem to have any beard markings. Just the kind of massive, superhero chin that could compress coal into diamonds.