12 Sports Mascots That Inspire Fear, Not Fans
A bad mascot is such an absolute heartbreaker of a thing. Mascots, as a concept and a creature, are among the greatest inventions of modern civilization. We should send one out to meet aliens, if they ever land here, so that they know we’re pretty fun.
So when the effort’s put in, and the product is nothing short of bone-chilling? Burn that pile of foam and try again.
Pistol Pete, Oklahoma State University
A cowboy! That’s fun! But why did you sculpt his face to look like he’s watching his son bleed out on the dusty ground?
Friar Don, Providence College
Not someone you’d really allow near your children even before the whole Spotlight situation.
T.D., the Miami Dolphins
A smooth, long-nosed fish that stands on two legs is just never going to work. You can cram as many tiny helmets on him as you want.
Mr. Redlegs, the Cincinnati Reds
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“Come, child. Rest your weary legs, and slip out of this world and into the next.” Not to mention, Mr. Redlegs sounds straight up like something you unleash upon your family by dabbling in the occult.
Saluki, Southern Illinois University
When your school’s mascot is a dog, that should be the easiest slam dunk of all time. Instead we end up with something that haunts the Scottish moors and craves children’s bone marrow.
The Original Pierre the Pelican, the New Orleans Pelicans
The first iteration of Pierre the Pelican lasted only a year before a new, less terrifying Pierre was introduced. The old one, I assume was shot, and his body stirred deep into the mud of the bayou.
King Cake Baby, the New Orleans Pelicans
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It’s cool when a mascot nods to a bit of local folklore, like the plastic baby hidden in king cakes during Mardi Gras. I just think it could look a little less like a trauma dream embodying the unresolved grief of a miscarriage.
Purdue Pete, Purdue University
Sure, his eyes are terrifying, but at least they’re set in putty-colored, pallid plastic skin that looks like it was harvested off a corpse.
Captain Fear, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Which came first — the name or the face?
Wushock, Wichita State University
The Wichita State logo, featuring this same bundle of wheat, is actually awesome. Taking it into the third dimension, sadly, resulted in a horrific sports creature that needs to be threshed posthaste so we can all heal.
The Stanford Tree, Stanford University
On one hand, the handmade nature of it is kind of charming. On the other, those lips.
Boltman, the Los Angeles Chargers
This isn’t an official, team-sanctioned mascot. Instead, it’s a fan who insisted on dressing up like this, and kept doing it until everyone just sort of let him. Your call on whether that’s better or worse.