10 Household Items That Sound Perverted
Alright, alright, we admit it. Maybe we’ve just got filthy minds. But you know what? So did whoever named a whole bunch of everyday stuff most people have just hanging around the house. Either that or they were hilariously naive or so far in the past that they had different words for junk back then or something.
Whatever the case, you must concede that it’s hilarious that we sometimes have occasion to whip out a…
Ballcock
Photo credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fuellventil_schwimmerventil_toilettenspuelung.JPG
Come on. This one is a gimme.
Caulk
Photo credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Achim_Hering
You know for a fact that you’ve never once discussed caulking something with a straight face. And it comes out of a gun? Forget it.
Reamer
Photo credit: Public Domain
In the case of the humble reamer, the alluded act is named directly for the object and its function, so really, this is its own fault.
Dongles
Photo credit: By Mmckinley - Own work, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=5761910
In case you didn’t know, a dongle is that little loopy guy you can plug into your computer to connect it to something else. It’s also clearly a cute little dong.
Ball-peen Hammer
Photo credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Buck_Knives_Hammer_(5075278861).jpg
The toolbox is a wealth of innuendo, with all its screws and nuts and what have you. Even “toolbox” is pretty suggestive. But nothing beats the ball-peen, which sounds like it was made for beating people in a very specific way.
Melon Baller
Photo credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kugelausstecher_30mm_Durchmesser.jpg
What does this mean exactly? What are the melons, and how do they ball? We don’t know exactly, but it’s definitely something dirty. You’re gonna wanna sit down for this, but some of them are double-ended.
Drain Snake
Photo credit: Public Domain
Add one conjunction and it’s already slang for pissing, but you could probably snake a drain in a number of disgusting ways.
Plunger
Photo credit: https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gebruiker:Michiel1972
When was the last time you plunged into something in a nonsexual way? Probably when you clogged a toilet.
Vacuum
Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/users/xiangying_xu-5990064/
Okay, it’s a bit of a stretch, but don’t act like you’ve never spelled “vacuum” wrong because you were convinced it ended in “cum.”
Cocktail Shaker
Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/users/tracygem-1908451/
Maybe penises don’t have tails, but if they did, you bet your ass they’d want to be shaken.