10 Household Items That Sound Perverted

Come on. This one is a gimme.

You know for a fact that you’ve never once discussed caulking something with a straight face. And it comes out of a gun? Forget it.

In the case of the humble reamer, the alluded act is named directly for the object and its function, so really, this is its own fault.

In case you didn’t know, a dongle is that little loopy guy you can plug into your computer to connect it to something else. It’s also clearly a cute little dong.

The toolbox is a wealth of innuendo, with all its screws and nuts and what have you. Even “toolbox” is pretty suggestive. But nothing beats the ball-peen, which sounds like it was made for beating people in a very specific way.

What does this mean exactly? What are the melons, and how do they ball? We don’t know exactly, but it’s definitely something dirty. You’re gonna wanna sit down for this, but some of them are double-ended.

Add one conjunction and it’s already slang for pissing, but you could probably snake a drain in a number of disgusting ways.

When was the last time you plunged into something in a nonsexual way? Probably when you clogged a toilet.

Okay, it’s a bit of a stretch, but don’t act like you’ve never spelled “vacuum” wrong because you were convinced it ended in “cum.”

Maybe penises don’t have tails, but if they did, you bet your ass they’d want to be shaken.