Here’s How Long It Will Take for ‘The Simpsons’ New 24/7 Channel to Burn Through the Entire Series

Good news for people who love The Simpsons, hate sunlight and have access to a catheter: Disney just announced that their streaming service launched a 24/7 streaming channel dedicated to Springfield’s most famous family. 

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the channel will begin by airing seasons one through thirty-five in chronological order, before likely pivoting to a more random schedule in the future. “From day one, the fans have asked for a stream of The Simpsons, and we’re happy to oblige,” Disney+’s senior vice president said in a statement, presumably before cackling like the demon who presented Homer with “all the donuts in the world.”

This news does raise two important questions: One, how long would it take to watch the stream of the entire show? And two, would that be medically advisable?

Reportedly, the stream will contain a whopping 767 episodes, meaning that it won’t include any episodes or specials from the current 36th season. Nor will it contain “Stark Raving Dad,” the controversial Michael Jackson-centric episode that was pulled from circulation and omitted from the Disney+ lineup. The stream will last “nearly 300 continuous hours.” More specifically, if each episode is around 22 minutes long, and there are 767 episodes, that means there are around 16,874 minutes of Simpsons goodness in the stream. This breaks down to a just over 281 hours, which is a little less than 12 days. 

Yes, you could spend nearly two whole weeks plunked in front of the couch watching The Simpsons, alienating your loved ones and no doubt leaving your genitals “withered and useless.”

This isn’t actually the first time that the idea of creating a channel themed around The Simpsons has been floated. Back in 2011, as the show neared its 500th episode, Fox executives began “toying with the idea of creating a 24-hour channel solely dedicated to America’s favorite dysfunctional nuclear family.”

"The point I was making, which I will reemphasize, is that this is a unique franchise … and it provides us a unique opportunity to do some interesting things with it,” one exec mused during a media conference at the time. But the network was prevented from enacting this idea immediately because of existing syndication agreements, and it never actually came to fruition.

Although Fox never pulled the trigger, fans subsequently created a number of online 24/7 Simpsons streaming channels over the years — albeit in a far less official capacity — setting up continuous streams on platforms such as YouTube and Twitch. 

Should Disney+ ever decide to stream a marathon of The Critic, it would be a lot less time consuming.