5 Insane Mini-Golf Courses That Are More Like Mega-Golf Courses
I know, I know. The term miniature golf is in comparison to the sprawling, arguably irresponsible surface area taken up by a full-size golf course. Even a generous outdoor park is only maybe the size of a single hole on a traditional golf course. Some of the world’s mini-golf courses, though, have sprung into maximalist interpretations of a sensible putting distance.
Here are five mini-golf courses that are anything but…
Mount Atlanticus Minotaur Goff
The intentionally misspelled “Goff” available at Mt. Atlanticus in Myrtle Beach, Florida spans a shocking amount of not only horizontal, but vertical space. Like a strange form of parasitic astroturf, it climbs through multiple stories of an abandoned department store in the name of leisure. Elevated, thatched huts make it seem like a mini-golf course that could realistically provide shelter for a night without cramming yourself into a tiny windmill. It even has large lore to match: Its fictional history says it’s been around for a full 50 millennia, and floated to Florida after breaking off Atlantis itself.
BubbelJungle Golf in the Dark
Bubbeljungle Golf in the Dark, located in the Netherlands, created an incredible physical miniature golf course, and then decided it needed an entire narrative to go with it. Visually, it would already be an in-demand small golf destination, with its neon, black-lit holes making it look like if Lisa Frank handled Tron’s concept art. But the entire course is also coupled with a murder mystery. Well, a kidnapping mystery, since this is for kids, after all, but it works the same. How does knocking around a little sphere in UV lighting track down the location of missing pop star Diva Laguna? If my extremely reasonable and necessary expense reports ever get approved, I’ll let you know.
KISS Mini-Golf
Apologies to your retinas, because we’re staying squarely in the realm of colors usually reserved for highly poisonous Amazon creatures. This course, however, isn’t purely for kids. World-famous metal icons and merchandising monoliths, KISS, are the theme of this massive mini-golf course in, of course, Vegas. It's part of the Gene Simmons KISS World Museum, and it's located inside the Rio Casino, so Daddy can go play their grown-up games with your college fund while Mommy watches you get a hole-in-eight. She can also have very weird feelings about you firing a golf ball up a glow-in-the-dark version of Gene Simmons’ famously long tongue.
Lexington’s Biblical Miniature Golf
If KISS mini-golf looks entirely too demonic for your god-fearing family, do I have good news for you. In Lexington, Kentucky, there’s a mini-golf course that can not only entertain your kids, but teach them about the Bible and our Christian Lord’s teachings! The location includes three separate courses, two of them themed after the New and Old Testament while the last covers “miracles” in general. They even blast Christian rock while you work your way through their pious texts of physics. All in all, it sounds like a lovely weekend activity for someone way less Jewish than me!
Dino Park Phuket Mini-Golf
Arguably the exact opposite of Biblical Mini-Golf is Dino Park, located in Thailand. You can putt your way through massive recreations of ancient animals, like a bored night watchman with a Titleist and the ability to erase the Museum of Natural History’s security footage. The park claims “life-size” statues of dinosaurs, which seems scientifically spurious, but hey, I’m not here to ruin a Thai child’s birthday. After all, you’d have to be a pedant of the highest order not to enjoy the clear work and love of prehistoric times that went into this architectural marvel of miniature sport.
It’s also one of the world’s best and worst places to be on mushrooms!