Jerry Stiller Channeled Own ‘Inner Rage’ to Play Frank Costanza

Armchair psychologist Ben Stiller believes he has his dad, the late Jerry Stiller, all figured out. “My dad on Seinfeld was so angry,” he explained on the Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend podcast. “And that was so funny to see him blow up and scream.”

“So funny shouting,” Conan agreed.

And the fuel for Jerry’s comic performance as Frank Costanza, in son Ben’s opinion, came from “all this suppressed inner rage in him that he kind of kept down.”

The reason that Jerry was so angry? Ben’s theory is that the fury stemmed from his dad’s comedy act with his mother, Anne Meara. “He loved my mom. He was the most loving, generous guy. But he had to sublimate a lot over the years doing their act together. The dynamic between them was that she would shut him up a lot. You know, like ‘Jerry, stop talking! Stop talking!’”

That dynamic played out in multiple talk show clips that Ben found for his upcoming documentary about his parents. But he had trouble finding a soundbite that supported his theory that Jerry’s suppressed anger inflamed the enraged rants of Frank Costanza. That all changed a month ago when Ben was driving home listening to O’Brien’s SiriusXM channel. The station aired a Conan clip from 1998 that was exactly what he’d been searching for. 

“You're asking him about Costanza — why is he so funny?” Ben said.  “And my dad said, this was literally what he says as I turn it on, he says it's because (he) had all this inner rage.” 

Here’s Jerry Stiller’s exact quote from that old Conan show (you’ll have to watch the above clip in its entirety to learn more about Stiller’s erection tips): “Frank Costanza was a guy who had to be heard in his life. You know, he had to come out of his shell. I got in touch with what I call my inner rage — at least that’s what my wife Anne Meara used to say. People today, when you get to a certain point in your life, things are not coming your way, you’re on a fixed income and you have kids who aren’t doing exactly what you would wish them to do, they didn’t turn out the right way. What else can you do but say, ‘YOU’RE CRAZY! YOU’RE OUT OF MY LIFE! GET OUT OF HERE! I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE! YOU’RE DEAD!”

“I literally pulled the car over and texted my editor,” Ben told O’Brien. “I felt like my dad was in the ether in the moment it was happening.” 

The soundbite ended up in the documentary, but Ben still has a problem.

“I do not give you permission to use it,” laughed Conan.

“That,” joked Stiller, “is actually why I’m here.”