The Horny Inside Jokes Hidden in a ‘Seinfeld’ Prop
Larry David: Star of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld’s head writer and an auction-worthy hunk whose “premature baldness is caused by an overabundance of testosterone”?
Much to everyone’s surprise, the thirsty quip — and several other hilarious horny inside jokes about Seinfeld’s cast and crew — graced the pages of a recently unearthed prop program appearing during the “bachelor auction” scene of Season Five’s “The Barber.”
The first glimpse at this tawdry Seinfeld relic came on Friday, when Stephanie Kennedy, the sitcom’s costume supervisor and the woman behind the wildly popular “Seinfeld Backstage” Instagram page, put the item up for auction during her social media fundraiser for actors impacted by the L.A. wildfires.
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Unlike Kennedy’s lot, though, which aimed to aid Angelenos in need, the show’s bachelor auction had a much different goal — helping “The Liberated Sisters of Spinsterhood,” a charity we assume isn’t that different from the famously fictitious “Human Fund.”
But even with sparse details about who — other than us viewers at home — would benefit from this down-bad event, the program took a much different approach to sizing up “The Buns,” sparing no detail in outlining the 16 oddly-familiar “hunk(s)” ready to hit the stage:
- JERRY SEINFELD: “Not great looking, but prime cut in all other areas.”
- JASON ALEXANDER: “A younger and thinner Brian Dehenny!”
- MICHAEL RICHARDS: “More KRAMER than Kreamer on SEINFELD!”
- GEORGE SHAPIRO: “Big things in a small package!”
Listing off several other Seinfeld icons, including Howard West, Larry Charles, and of course, Wayne Knight (aka Newman), the program, which started at just $100, has racked up over a dozen bids as of publication, the highest topping out at $500.
Though it has yet to reach the four-figure amount of the hot Harvard graduate featured in the show, it could be worse — after all, it’s a whole lot more than Kramer’s starting bid of five bucks.