Madonna Is Doing Surprise Stand-Up Sets at the Comedy Cellar

How many Madonnas does it take to screw in a light bulb? 

I’m not sure how many riddles the Like A Virgin singer has been telling during her periodic pop-ins at New York’s Comedy Cellar, but here’s proof that she’s been getting behind the mike, delivering punchlines from her scratchpad of funny ideas.

Madonna “has been interested in (stand-up for) a long time,” comic Amy Schumer told Howard Stern. “And she knows that like anything else, you have to work really hard on it. She’s like, ‘I want to get up. I’ve got things I want to express.’”

Too bad she doesn’t have a music career that she could use to get her thoughts out there.

Schumer has been helping out her pal, watching Madonna’s sets and providing after-show critiques. “We’ve done this a couple times,” she says. “We go to the Comedy Cellar, and nobody knows that we’re going. I do some time and then I introduce her and she goes up with a notebook. She is working on her set, and it’s not cringy. She’s funny. She’s got jokes, she’s got things to say, she’s got tea. And then we talk about it a little bit, what went well. You know she’s going to watch her tape and figure it out.”

In the process, Madonna has joined the list of fabulously successful pop stars who decided that what they really want to do is stand-up. That roster includes John Mayer, T.I. and… well, it’s not a big club. But this comedy fixation isn’t a passing fancy for Madonna. Back in 2015, she told Jimmy Fallon that she was a “closet comedian” before doing a stand-up set for the Tonight Show faithful. 

Oof. Asking the audience “Do you guys think that’s funny?” and doing bits about your collection of Andy Warhol paintings isn’t a great start. Is she better now? It doesn’t sound like it, at least according to an unnamed source (take that for what you will) who supposedly saw the most recent Madonna set. “She did well enough, but the audience was so stunned it was Madonna that it took them the entire set to warm up to her,” the audience member told The Sun. “She didn’t do as well as you’d think she would. She got laughs every time she dropped an F-bomb, because just hearing Madonna curse is funny.” 

The Material Girl also got off a zinger about how if Trump keeps up his deportations, she won’t have any staff left. Relatable!

But Schumer believes Madge has true potential as a stand-up comic. “She doesn’t have to get over stage fright,” Schumer reminded Stern. “She’s got a jump on the game. It’s fun. You know, she’s dishing, she’s talking about her life. I love it.”