5 Famous Artists Who Would Have Been Decidedly Bad Hangs
For an aspiring artist, the idea of hopping in a time machine to talk shop with an iconic artist of the past might seem like a dream. But once they actually get there and attempt to have a conversation, they might find that it’s not quite what they envisioned. Less chatter about stylistic choices and inspirations, and more just listening to a very sad, very alcoholic man.
There’s a pervasive idea that suffering creates great art, and though it’s not always true, sometimes it’s definitely part of the stew. Some artists suffered from a real unpleasant mental state, whether medically or personally, that wouldn’t make them the greatest dinner guest.
Vincent van Gogh
Sure, you might just want to tell him how many dorm-room walls pay homage to his work, but he probably won’t be much interested in hearing it. Which wasn’t an ear joke, by the way, but as you can imagine, someone who ends up cutting off their own ear isn’t generally having a great time. Thought to have possibly suffered from bipolar disorder, and almost definitely suffered from alcoholism, van Gogh was a drunk — and not a fun one. His liquor of choice was famously absinthe, which doesn’t come on slow, and once he was good and wormwooded up, you were probably in for such an intolerable session of blubbering that you'd end up lopping your own ear off.
Edvard Munch
Probably not an overwhelming surprise that the guy most famous for painting The Scream wasn’t a laugh-a-minute type of fella. In case you thought his famous depiction of terror was a one-off, though, I can assure you that Munch was indeed an unhappy guy. His entire life he was terrified of death, filled with anxiety and generally fearful. Being raised Jewish, I can relate, though apparently on a smaller scale. Munch once said, “The angels of fear, sorrow and death stood by my side since the day I was born.”
You’re scaring the hoes, Edvard!
Francisco Goya
Where Munch’s angels of death were purely metaphorical, Goya believed they were honest-to-god standing right in front of him. Now, if you happened to run into him before the age of 46, you might have been able to have a pleasant conversation. After that year, where he suffered a horrible illness that left him deaf and suffering from hallucinations? Not so much. Suddenly his paintings were full of witches and demons, subjects he didn’t seem to be drawing entirely from his imagination. One can imagine he wasn’t, at that point, the sort of guy you could share a beer with.
Pablo Picasso
I realize this all may seem a little glib, given that the above artists are mostly just unfortunate victims of mental illness. So let’s talk about a guy who was of perfectly sound mind, besides possibly narcissism, and was simply a massive asshole: Pablo Picasso. If you’re male, he probably would have treated you like dirt. If you aren’t, well, you'd be lucky to leave his personal sphere without mental scarring.
Before you start asking the point of criticizing the chauvinism of someone who lived hundreds of years ago, this feels like a good place to reiterate the, to some, shocking fact that Picasso died in 1973. Not a great time, but one recent enough that people definitely considered him a bit of a pig, including his own family. His fame might have gotten you into the club, but by the end of the night, you’d be signing an NDA.
Michelangelo
Think you’d want to pick the brain of the painter of the Sistine Chapel? Bring some smelling salts. It’s not the conversation that’s the problem here, it’s just the fact that Michelangelo was apparently absolutely fucking disgusting. Including the fact that he apparently would wear his boots so long that when he removed them, his skin would come along for the ride, “like a snake's.”