Dave Chappelle Says He’s Tired of Controversy Before Stirring Up More of It During His ‘SNL’ Monologue
Dave Chappelle broke a Saturday Night Live record last night, delivering the longest monologue in the show's history. At 16 minutes and 49 seconds, Chappelle bested the old record held by… Dave Chappelle (16 minutes and 19 seconds back in Season 46, according to the number crunchers at SNL Network). The comic needed the extra time, thanks to the long list of hot-button topics he broke down on the 30 Rock stage.
“I’m tired of being controversial,” Chappelle began in protest. “I’m turning over a new leaf.”
This article not your thing? Try these...
Come on, man, we’ve heard that one before. That was his promise in his last Netflix special, The Dreamer, right before he slipped in a few more trans jokes. Thankfully, Chappelle finally left that topic alone for a night to tackle every other contentious comedy premise circa 2025. Here are some of his best jokes on subjects most comedians would avoid altogether...
The Los Angeles Fires
“I go on the internet and I watch these fire videos, and I read the comment sections and everyone was like, ‘Yeah, it serves these celebrities right. I hope their houses burn down.’ You see that? That right there? That’s why I hate poor people.”
“They said it’s the most expensive natural disaster that’s ever happened in United States history. And you want to know why I think that is? Because people in L.A. have nice stuff. I could burn 40,000 acres in Mississippi for $600 or $700.”
“There were a lot of elements that came together to make this fire the catastrophe that it was. The winds were 100 miles an hour. L.A. was dry as a bone. … There were just too many factors. If you were a rational, thinking person, you have to at least consider the possibility that God hates these people.”
Diddy
“My friends ask me, ‘Dave, did you know anything about those freak-off parties?’ And I’d be like, ‘Nah, man. I ain’t know anything about the freak show.’ And they all look at me like (extremely dubious stare). And they’d be like, ‘Well, how are all these people you know at the freak off, but you the only one that wasn’t at the freak off?’ And I thought about it for a minute and I said, ‘Oh my God. I’m ugly.’”
“I saw one thing on the internet, so I’m not sure this is true. … Some guy who said he knew Puffy was like, ‘Yeah, man, I was at the freak off one time, and I went in the back room and Puff was in there with Carl Winslow, the dad from Family Matters.’ … And I was like, Oh my God. Carl Winslow from Family Matters was there and I wasn’t invited.”
“Maybe I’m not ugly. Look at my face. This is not necessarily a handsome face, but it’s not an ugly face. But if you really study my face, clearly I have snitch energy.”
Jimmy Carter and the Middle East
“I was in the Middle East years ago after I quit my show. … And while I was there, Jimmy Carter flew to Israel. Jimmy Carter said, ‘I want to go to the Palestinian territory.’ And the Israeli government said, ‘It’s too dangerous, and if you go, we cannot protect you.’ And man, Jimmy Carter went anyway. I will never forget the images of a former American president walking with little to no security while thousands of Palestinians were cheering him on. And when I saw that picture, it brought tears to my eyes. I said, ’I don’t know if that’s a good president, but that right there, I am sure is a great man.’”
That story allowed Chappelle to segue into a message for Donald Trump, who will be inaugurated once again this week. Back in 2016, the comic encouraged America to give Trump the benefit of the doubt: “I’m wishing Donald Trump luck, and I’m going to give him a chance,” Chappelle said. “And we, the historically disenfranchised, demand that he give us one too.”
The comic’s message was different last night. He’d given Trump a chance once before and saw the results. So this time, Chappelle ended with a different plea: “The presidency is no place for petty people. So Donald Trump, I know you watch the show. Man, remember whether people voted for you or not, they’re all counting on you, whether they like you or not. They’re all counting on you. The whole world is counting on you. And I mean this when I say this: Good luck. Please do better next time. Please, all of us do better next time. Do not forget your humanity. And please have empathy for displaced people, whether they’re in the Palisades or Palestine.”