Matt Gaetz Rails Against ‘SNL’ While Everyone Reads His Insane Ethics Report

Matt Gaetz is the main character of news media right now. How could Martin Short do this?

Earlier today, the House Committee on Ethics released its report on controversial former Florida Representative Matt Gaetz, with the congressional conduct group coming to the conclusion that “there is substantial evidence that Representative Gaetz violated House Rules and other standards of conduct prohibiting prostitution, statutory rape, illicit drug use, impermissible gifts, special favors or privileges, and obstruction of Congress.” 

Gaetz has long battled allegations and investigations over instances when he supposedly sex trafficked underaged women and abused illicit drugs like cocaine and ecstasy, and, in the scathing 37-page report from a bipartisan but Republican-led panel, the House Committee on Ethics confirmed the veracity of these accusations and condemned Gaetz for a litany of other conduct infractions.

Naturally, Gaetz has been furiously tweeting and re-tweeting about this report that’s topped the front page of every news outlet in America today, but not before he spent his last weekend pre-political-career-destroying-bombshell raging against the dig that Short made at him during his opening monologue on this past weekend's episode of Saturday Night Live:

During his monologue, Short joked that he had to finish the show quickly as, “I left my Uber driver waiting, and you know how testy Matt Gaetz can get.”

It’s ironic that Gaetz would accuse SNL of being “out of touch” or anti-working class over this admittedly B-minus monologue joke when, as the son of a powerful Florida lawmaker and after squandering his head start in life and politics by snorting blow with underaged sex workers, Gaetz has likely made every Uber driver he’s ever called sign an NDA before they escort his escorts out of state.

There’s also something almost endearing about how Gaetz hyper-fixated on a laughably tame joke at his expense mere hours before the left, right and center all joined together to pour through 37 pages of official reporting on his illicit partying habits, his obstructive behavior as a congressman and his fast-and-loose approach to using campaign funds for “personal” use. Up until this morning, Gaetz’ legal team was desperately trying to stop the release of the report, but the disgraced former representative wasted his last few days pre-report trying to feud with Jiminy Glick over his all-time mildest burn.

As the congressional report notes, the investigation came to a sudden halt when Gaetz resigned from the House of Representatives back in November shortly after President-elect Donald Trump picked him to become the next Attorney General. Clearly, this report is just the tip of the iceberg, and Gaetz had to tank his entire career just to stop his peers from prying deeper into his personal life.

Ultimately, however, we have to admit that Short’s joke about Gaetz was a little distasteful and certainly out of touch — it’s practically slanderous to suggest that Uber lets sex offenders drive for them.