Heroic ‘I Think You Should Leave’ Star Protects Healthcare Executives With the Power of Song

After UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson died in a shocking shooting last Wednesday, America’s cherished insurance executives found themselves in dire need of a protector. Little did they know that a valiant songbird was about to take them under his wing.

While the general public responded to the killing of Thompson with a range of reactions from callous indifference to even more callous schadenfreude, opinion columnists from across The New York Times quickly rushed in to remind America that multi-millionaire CEOs and accused financial criminals are the real working class heroes, and that anyone left with a dry eye following Thompson’s demise deserves a finger-wag that only a New York Times columnist can deliver. Then, when a Florida woman called her insurance provider Blue Cross Blue Shield following a denied claim and threateningly quoted the words “deny, defend, depose” from the shell-casings found at the scene of Thompson’s shooting, America realized that our most vulnerable and valuable population (millionaire health insurance executives) desperately needed their own defender.

Enter Conner O’Malley, comedy writer, content creator, I Think You Should Leave star and guardian of Blue Shield, UnitedHealthcare and whatever other claim-denying corporations need extra coverage in these trying times. 

O’Malley’s secret weapon? Music. And water. And bananas.

O'Malley, whose long list of credits include writing and appearing in Joe Pera Talks With You and who is married to Saturday Night Live alumna Aidy Bryant, is famous for playing aggressive, extreme characters who cause public disturbances and scream at strangers in his many viral videos. As such, it's heartwarming to see O'Malley eschew his manic personalities and perform a public good with a smile across his face and a song in the chamber.

Once O'Malley DMs us a link to the life-saving song, we, too, will be able to use up all of our PTO to patrol the parking lot of our local Allstate location, waiting for white collar insurance workers whom we will ferry to their cars like we're brave boy scouts and they're little old ladies who will have to pay $700 for their diabetes medicine this month after an AI program cuts off their coverage.

However, for all of O'Malley's hard work and commitment to CEO safety, medical executives under O'Malley's protection should remain vigilant – if they leave their phones unguarded, they'll suddenly find themselves following Tasty Time Vids on Instagram.