This Screaming Animatronic of Will Ferrell From ‘Elf’ Is the Stuff of Christmas Nightmares

The best way to spread Christmas fear is screaming loud in children’s ears.

If you ask any Millennial comedy fan to name their favorite Christmas movie from their childhood, there’s a good chance that they’ll choose the 2003 Jon Favreau-directed and Will Ferrell-led family comedy Elf. The story of a human baby whom Santa and his elves raise as one of their own in the North Pole before unleashing him as an adult onto New York City so that he can find his true family is an absolute classic, and the holiday hit is responsible for countless priceless childhood memories. 

Now, thanks to Home Depot, Elf will also be the subject of numerous nightmares after the home improvement store unleashed a horde of screaming, melting golems in the vague shape of Will Ferrell onto America’s unsuspecting families.

Home Depot’s 6.5-foot Animated Buddy the Elf™ is a hulking mass of plastic and terror that screams 12 different lines from Elf in both English and Evil Sumerian, and, at a discounted price of $149, you’d have to be a cotton-headed ninny muggins to miss out on this opportunity to convene with the damned:

Customers who bough Baphomet the Elf had mixed reviews, though many of them praised the great value of the purchase because it can also be used as the centerpiece of a pants-shitting Halloween lawn decoration next year. “So easy to assemble. Once I got to the head, I couldn’t figure out if Buddy had Pink Eye or Influenza. I have decided he won’t be going next to my fireplace because I won’t be able to watch TV without staring at his creepy self,” one purchaser wrote in their two-star review. “He’s going outside on my porch for a while and then to my office where he can scare clients that come in. I’m glad I have a great sense of humor, or I would have been mad to spend money on this!!”

A more enthusiastic reviewer gave the accidental Krampus creation five stars and wrote, “If you bought this thing expecting it to look like Buddy the Elf, you bought it for the wrong reason, and therefore, will likely be unsatisfied. If you bought this thing because it is horrifyingly hilarious, I guarantee you will be satisfied.”

Additionally, anyone who decides to become the warden of one of Home Depot’s Anti-Christmas Automatons should be warned about the upkeep — these elves try to stick to the five main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, syrup and virgin blood.