12 of the Best Bits of Slang the Sport of Football Has to Offer

12 Pancake

An offensive lineman’s job is to impede opposing players from reaching either the quarterback or running back. One of the most effective ways to do so is to lie on top of them while they’re on the ground. Of course, they’d prefer that you not do that, as it’s both emotionally and physically destructive. When a lineman or a blocker, despite that defensive player’s best efforts, sends them to the ground and out of the play? It's known as a “pancake block,” because they’ve been, well, flattened. 

It doesn’t hurt that most offensive lineman look like someone that thoroughly enjoys a trip to IHOP.

11 Fumblerooski

First of all, you need zero football knowledge to understand that fumblerooski is a delightful combination of syllables. With football knowledge, it only becomes more fun, because it’s not just a drunkenly added suffix but an actual play — one that’s been effective enough that it's banned in the NCAA. 

The joy doesn’t stop there, because it’s not a boring play with a fun name, but an incredibly funny play with a name to match. A “fumblerooski” involves the quarterback intentionally “fumbling” the ball by leaving it on the ground, and then pretending to run a play, with no ball. While the defenders track that fake play, another player secretly picks up the ball and takes off in the other direction. 

Having seen a team I root for execute a version of one successfully, I can tell you that it’s more than a trick play, it’s a salve for the soul.

10 Flea Flicker

Another trick play, though one you’re much more likely to see on any given Sunday. The basic process is the ball is snapped to the quarterback, who hands it off to a running back. As the defense reacts to the run, the running back tosses the ball backwards (that part is important) to the quarterback, who then throws a, surprisingly, legal forward pass. 

Why is it called the flea flicker? Zero disappointment incoming, since it comes from University of Illinois coach Bob Zuppke, who described the play as similar to the “quick flicking action of a dog getting rid of fleas.”

9 Toe-Tap

Like most games played with boundaries, football has rules around going out of bounds. But unlike soccer or basketball, there’s often times someone is trying to stay in bounds while both catching the ball and having 200-plus pounds of force applied to their center mass. As such, specific rules are needed to lock down exactly what’s necessary for that catch to count. The most important of these being that as long as a receiver gets both feet down inbounds, even for a glancing fraction of a second, they’re welcome to go flying into the Gatorade coolers immediately after and still have that catch count. 

This leads to the “toe-tap,” where a player taps their toes inbounds — again, usually before exiting the field of play with a high level of violence. A bit of added theatricality comes from turf fields, where the spray of rubber pellets resting beneath the turf provides the indicator of contact.

8 Doink

A field goal in football requires the ball to be kicked in between the uprights. The uprights themselves don’t count, meaning if the ball ricochets off of one and doesn’t continue through, it’s worth precisely zero points instead of three. Missing by a matter of inches in this manner produces sadness, and an undeniably funny sound. A sound that John Madden, a true poet of the game, described with the perfect onomatopoeia as a “doink.”

7 Icing The Kicker

A common, tired refrain when it comes to placekickers in the NFL is fans with a hunch that “they could do that,” or that it’s an easy job. Despite the fact that you almost definitely can not do that, I’ve never envied a kicker’s job. Sure, you probably only have to trot out a couple times a game to attempt a field goal. Every time you do, however, your job and the ire of tens of thousands of people, some of them very big and strong, are on the line. 

It’s a pretty tense moment. Which is when the practice of “icing” a kicker emerges, where the opposing coach calls a timeout at the last possible second before the ball is snapped, often resulting in the kicker still going through with a kick that won’t count — sending a kicker who thought he was three seconds away from peace directly back to the fires of hell.

6 Coffin Corner

This term isn’t just fun, but legitimately metal as hell. “Coffin corner” refers to the perfect punt in football. When punting, you obviously want the punt to land as close to the end zone as possible, without going into the end zone, which results in the receiving team coming out to the 20-yard line. You also hope that the opposing team has no chance to catch and return the football for positive yards. 

The most perfect possible way to guarantee this is to punt so that the football goes out of bounds right before the end zone, locking the other team into an absolutely horrible position. Kicking into the corner in a manner that puts them in the coffin, so to speak.

5 A Bowling Ball of Butcher Knives

Some running backs are capable of incredibly lateral agility, juking and spinning to leave defenders in the dust. This usually earns them the similarly popular description of a “human joystick.” Other running backs aren’t particularly concerned about contact, because they know they’re probably going to come out on the better end of it. It’s like driving a Hummer and then seeing a Smartcar about to T-bone you: Sure, it’s not going to feel great, but you’re not the one going to the hospital. 

At some point, the shorthand for someone who was highly painful to tackle became the visceral description, “a bowling ball of butcher knives.”

4 Like Tackling A Fire Hydrant

In the same realm is another combo of words so image-rich that it makes your vertebrae clench: “trying to tackle a fire hydrant.” It’s used to describe an attempt to bring down shorter, but nevertheless massive running backs with a low center of gravity. It’s highly unlikely that anyone hearing it has ever done it, but our brain is still capable of providing an intimate hunch as to what it would feel like. It sounds like an idea for a Jackass stunt that would stop filming for three months while Johnny Knoxville was in traction.

3 Jumbo Package

The “jumbo package” is a term used to refer to a team putting as many of their biggest players on the field as possible, usually in order to ensure a short gain of a yard or two. It’s fun because it could also refer to someone’s large genitals.

2 Will/Sam/Mike

When referring to linebackers, they’re usually identified as “weak-side,” “strong-side” and “middle” linebackers. This turned into a shorthand that also makes them sound like three rowdy brothers: Will, Sam and Mike, respectively.

1 Thicc Six

A “pick-six” is an interception that’s returned for a touchdown. They’re rare, but not nearly as rare as a touchdown from an offensive lineman, generally because they’re hulking beings who aren’t known for their catching ability, even if none of their fingers are currently taped together and/or dislocated. 

Lineman touchdowns do happen, however, and when they do, it’s a beautiful moment, that inspired a beautiful pun: the Thicc Six.