We’ll Never Hear Clancy Brown’s All-Time Best ‘SpongeBob’ Ad-Libs Because They’re Way Too Obscene

According to the cast of SpongeBob SquarePants, Clancy Brown delivered some absolutely iconic improvisation when recording his lines for a certain classic episode, but we’ll never hear any of it because of Nickelodeon’s *dolphin chatter* language policy.

Out of all the main SpongeBob SquarePants cast, the actor who you’d guess was least likely to appear in one of the most beloved children’s cartoons of all time based on their non-Nickelodeon work would easily have to be Brown. To someone who had never seen SpongeBob but who watched in awe as the murderous Kurgan tore his way through Highlander, you’d think that Brown being a major star on a show about underwater cheeseburgers would be one big joke. But, no, to many generations of cartoon fans, Shawshank State Prison’s most ruthless guard captain is just the money-grubbing Mr. Krabs, whose military temperament usually translates into him running the Krusty Krab as a tight ship.

During the SpongeBob SquarePants cast’s 25th anniversary roundtable, the crew revealed that the show’s all-time greatest improvisation came from Brown during the classic Season Two episode “Sailor Mouth” — but, for obvious reasons, his hilarious swearing couldn’t make it into the final cut. What a load of *airhorn blast*.

During the 25th anniversary talk, which was even funnier than the 24th anniversary talk, the topic of improvisation came up when Patrick Star’s voice actor Bill Fagerbakke claimed that the showrunners have been letting the cast ad-lib some of their takes since as early as SpongeBob SquarePants Season Seven before Brown corrected him and said that, at least for Mr. Krabs’ scenes, there’s been improv in SpongeBob since Season Two. 

“You’ll never hear Clancy’s very best ad-libs ever,” revealed Rodger Bumpass, voice actor of Squidward Tentacles, who says that the Season Two banger “Sailor Mouth” was some of Clancy’s best and most foul-mouthed work ever. “I had to take a shower after you did that,” Bumpass told his old cast mate.

In the episode in question, the moral of which is ostensibly that children should not use swear words with the frequency and intensity of the saltiest sea dogs, Mr. Krabs punishes SpongeBob and Patrick when he overhears them using some of the dreaded “13 bad words,” which, for the sake of Nickelodeon’s censors, were all just sea-themed sound effects. Of course, the second Mr. Krabs stubbed his toe, suddenly all 13 honks, horns, chatters and bells were on the table, causing SpongeBob and Patrick to tattle on the cheapskate to his poor old mom.

“Clancy chose to swear because we knew it would be covered up by dolphin sounds,” Fagerbakke remembered of those notorious “Sailor Mouth” recording sessions.

Plankton voice actor and SpongeBob animator Mr. Lawrence confirmed of Brown’s foul-mouthed takes, “We all knew what was under there, that what makes it feel naughty and great!”

Now that every OG SpongeBob fan is in their 30s, it sure would be nice if Nickelodeon released a special, TV-MA-rated “SpongeBob After Dark” box set showing Brown’s uncensored and unrestrained performances, but we all know the kid’s comedy monolith will never let us have that much fun, those *seal barking* *seagull screams*