Five Animals That Went All ‘The Revenant’ on People

For as much as we love them, we’re kind of dicks to animals

For as much as we love them, we’re kind of dicks to animals. We poach them, eat them, make them participate in TikTok video trends — it’s no wonder some of them decide to exact their revenge. Next time you try to make your kitten dance, just remember when…

A Tiger Stalked a Poacher for Days

In 1997, a poacher named Vladimir Markov shot a tiger in Russia, stole its food and just left it there. It’s unclear whether he realized he hadn’t finished the job, but he sure wished he had after the tiger tracked him to a cabin, trashed the place and then waited. And waited. For 12 to 48 hours, it waited, but as soon as Markov returned, the tiger tore his ass up. If you come at the king (of the tundra, that is), you best not miss.

A Tiger Avenged His Wife

In 2016, a group of moonshiners were brewing booze in the Indian forest when they were surprised by a tiger. It’s unfortunate but understandable that they shot her, though they also skinned and ate her, which is just rude. Her mate certainly seemed to think so. When they returned three days later, he was waiting for them. After killing their leader, the tiger continued patrolling the area for months, attacking any human that crossed his path. Hey, closure is hard.

A Pride of Lions Took a Trophy

In 2018, suspected trophy hunter David Baloyi either killed a lion cub in a South African private game reserve or just walked around threateningly with a gun. Either way, a resident pride of lions didn’t take too kindly to that. They devoured him until all that was left was a head, possibly as a trophy.

A Swarm of Elephants Avenged Their Bud

After a poacher killed an elephant for his tusks in an Indian forest, one of the female members of the herd (must have been wifey) stormed the nearby villages and went Kill Bill on the place. She eventually recruited a herd of more than 30 elephants to trash more than 50 houses in at least five villages over the course of about two weeks. Tough break for those innocent villagers who had nothing to do with the poaching, but sometimes you just see red.

Crows Held a Grudge for 17 Years

In a 2006 experiment that sounds like the beginning of a horror movie, scientists at the University of Washington terrorized a group of crows while wearing a caveman mask. Other times, they merely fed the crows wearing a “neutral” mask, which happened to be the randomly selected visage of former Vice President Dick Cheney.

For the next 17 years, the scientists revisited the areas where they released the crows wearing the masks and found that the crows remembered and aggressively attacked the caveman mask. What’s more, they seemed to have told their friends, as the swarming mob appeared much larger than the original sample size. They didn’t react at all to scientists wearing the “neutral” mask, suggesting that the crows remembered the face of their tormenter. Also, that they’re the only creatures on earth not afraid of Dick Cheney.

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