Blame ‘The Simpsons’ When Monday Night Football Sucks Next Month

Yesterday morning, Cincinnati Bengals beat reporter Jay Morrison revealed that everything is not, in fact, coming up Milhouse in the world of professional football. Namely, that despite the Bengals and Dallas Cowboys both experiencing highly disappointing seasons, the NFL can’t bump their upcoming, not-so-anticipated Monday Night Football matchup due to a Simpsons alternate cast that’s set to air on ESPN+ and Disney+.

“For those asking, the Bengals-Cowboys MNF game is not eligible to be flexed out,”  Morrison wrote of the teams’ December 9th showdown in a now-viral tweet. “All the drawings, voiceovers and other work that has been done for The Simpsons alt-cast that will air that night.”

Considering both teams have had humdrum seasons — the Cowboys currently stand at 3-7 while the Bengals aren’t much better at 4-7 — football fans reacted much like Springfieldians upon discovering their city had been encased in a glass dome, grabbing their proverbial pitchforks and torches and hitting the web. 

“Makes Sense. The Simpsons are more relevant than the Bengals and Cowboys,” joked @ChrisYndo, while @cryptooverforex feared how their team would fare in a highly hyped contest. “Oh no not another prime time game,” they wrote. “The Bengals record is horrible in prime time.”

To paraphrase Bart Simpson himself: “I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this sucks, blows, punts, tackles and scores a touchdown.”