Tony Hinchcliffe Apologizes to Absolutely Nobody

Now that the dust has settled from the biggest stand-up bomb of the 2024 election cycle, open mic host and right-wing provocateur Tony Hinchcliffe is ready to make amends with none of the entire races he insulted.

On Sunday, October 27th, the Kill Tony host performed at a rally for President-Elect Donald Trump at Madison Square Garden, a stadium where Hinchcliffe had recently hosted an episode of his amateur comedian roast/Star Search podcast. Hinchcliffe found the new crowd at MSG to be less enthused about his half-baked, predictable, sub-4chan-level racist humor than his usual crowd, and by Monday morning, his laughless routine was front-page news on every media outlet in the country. Hinchcliffe’s hacky jokes about Black people carving watermelons on Halloween, Latino people having a lot of kids and Puerto Rico being an island of garbage failed to impress even the furthest-right pundits like Ann Coulter, and Trump himself claimed that he didn’t even know Hinchcliffe during the damage control stage of the stand-up set.

Thankfully for Hinchcliffe, Trump still ended up winning the presidential election by a wide margin, and Hinchcliffe’s best attempt to push away Puerto Rican voters in swing states failed to play a factor in the race. But even before the votes were counted, Hinchcliffe insisted that he had no regrets about the performance. In the latest episode of Kill Tony, which Hinchcliffe recorded the day after the disastrous rally appearance, he insisted that his bombed set was about “free speech,” not free apologies.

“Last night I gave a speech, I don’t know if you heard about this,” Hinchcliffe said at the top of the Kill Tony episode, claiming, “It was a speech about free speech, believe it or not. I am currently under attack. I am the news. I referenced Puerto Rico, which currently has a landfill problem in which all of their landfills are filled to the brim. I am the only person who knew about this, unfortunately.”

To reiterate his rebrand as a champion of Puerto Rican issues, Hinchcliffe added, “I just want to say that I love Puerto Ricans, they’re very smart people — they’re smart, they’re street smart, they’re smart enough to know when they’re being used as political fodder. Right now that is happening.”

“I apologize to absolutely nobody,” Hinchcliffe said of his attacks on every race besides white guys. “Not to the Puerto Ricans, not to the whites, not to the Blacks, not to the Palestinians, not to the Jews, and not to my own mother, who I made fun of during the set. Nobody clipped that. No headlines about me making fun of my own mother.”

Though Hinchcliffe was proud to have offended so many groups and irate that his own mom wasn’t insulted enough, he did concede that performing boring, racist roast comedy at a political rally in MSG may have been misguided. “Perhaps that venue at that time wasn’t the best fucking place to do this set at,” Hinchcliffe admitted. “But in any matter, to the mainstream media and to anybody trying to slander me online: That’s what I do, and that’s never going to change.”

Hinchcliffe is also never going to get booked on another far-right stadium show, which is too bad for him — he probably feels right at home at MSG.