Fans Beg for Clemency After Curious George Commits Voter Fraud

The Man in the Yellow Hat is going to have to testify before congress to get Curious George out of this bind.

We’re just days away from the divisive 2024 general election, and during this stressful time wherein prominent political figures are already launching attacks on the legitimacy of the American democratic process, the last thing we need is some more monkey business that could call the results into question. The shit-slinging that’s plagued every campaign trail in the last three presidential elections has already riled up the more extreme elements of the American voting base, and our fragile republic simply cannot suffer some rogue actor going bananas on a ballot box this close to election day.

Sadly, the formerly beloved children’s book character Curious George’s inquisitive nature doesn’t extend to the list of statutes that protect the integrity of our electoral system, as demonstrated by an incriminating scene depicted in the 2020 exposé Curious George Votes. After an illustration of Curious George stuffing a ballot box threatened to become the biggest scandal of the 2024 election cycle, fans of Margaret and H.A. Rey’s iconic children’s book series took to Twitter to beg us all to cut the kid some slack — he doesn’t know anything about the executive branch, and he’d never attempt to illegally swing an election.

Of course, the American legal system makes no exceptions for “childish nosiness” when it comes to voter fraud. While the election featured in Curious George Votes was just for an elementary school mascot, if George ever pulled our tail with this move during a general election, he would face up to four years in prison and potentially lose his voting rights in perpetuity. George’s curiosity about how many ballots he could stuff into the box would also incur a fine of up to $25,000.

However, if Curious George ever faced legal consequences for his blatant ballot-stuffing, he’d have his fans behind him. “He’s okay! He isn’t casting fraudulent votes bcs he isn’t writing on the papers! they can reasonably discard all unmarked ballots as being George’d and still take a fair count of actual votes cast,” one such defender argued.

But ultimately, we can’t know for sure what George’s intentions were with the ballot box just going off of these drawings and captions alone. Perhaps he’s trying to turn America into a banana republic.