‘Brady Bunch’ Reboot Would Have Been Like Your Worst Family Thanksgiving

Who wants to hear Greg’s theories on trickle-down economics?

It sounds like we have Susan Olsen and her long history of unhinged rants to thank for stopping a terrible Brady Bunch reboot in its tracks. 

Yep, apparently another reset of the 1970s sitcom was in the works. It wouldn’t have been the first (or second or third). There was The Brady Bunch Variety Hour, a supremely odd showcase for Robert Reed’s nonexistent song-and-dance skills; The Brady Brides, featuring Marcia and Jan buying a house to share with their new husbands (kinky!); The Bradys, an hourlong dramedy that aspired to be the Thirtysomething of blended families; and A Very Brady Renovation, featuring the six kids reuniting for a reality show about renovating the original sitcom’s house. 

The relative success of A Very Brady Renovation led to conversations about yet another Brady remake. According to Olsen, who played lisping Cindy on the original show, the reboot would have followed the lead of Roseanne reincarnation The Conners, featuring “a family with completely different political opinions, and in the end, they all love and respect each other.”

If you dig uncomfortable holiday dinners where uncles, cousins and future in-laws shout about what’s wrong with America, The United States of Brady (or whatever they would have called it) would have been the show for you. In this version, Greg would have spouted off as a Reagan Republican, Jan would wag her finger as the show’s insufferable liberal and Cindy would have made it a full-time job as a libertarian podcaster. Isn’t the point of Nick at Nite to avoid exactly this kind of content?

Ironically, skittish CBS pulled the plug on a show featuring Cindy as an outrageous podcaster thanks to the antics of Olsen, a real-life outrageous podcaster. At least, that’s what Olsen claims.

Olsen has lost jobs in the past for her long history of spouting controversial opinions about Donald Trump, COVID-19 vaccines and LGBTQ people. You can guess her stance on all three. She says the network put together an extensive dossier on her problematic comments and the decision-makers decided enough was enough. “They did a web search, and they came up with 50 pages,” Olsen told the Walk Away Campaign podcast. “The resounding result was no, we cannot have her in a show. If we go forward with this project, it will not be with her.”

Olsen has no regrets. “To be honest, those 50 pages were my greatest hits. I stand by everything I said,” she boasted. “I am what I was going to portray, so what kind of show would this be if I can’t say anything controversial? I did have a phone call with my (fake) siblings and my agent. Everybody was saying, ‘We’re sorry, but they just won’t budge. They just will not have you in this.’ I was like, ‘Wow, I’ve been canceled.’”

The podcast episode is entitled — sigh — “How Wokeness Killed The Brady Bunch Reboot.” In actuality, “wokeness” has never canceled much of anything, but this cringe comedy continuation sounds like a good place to start. 

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