5 Supervillain Worthy Secret Weapons From History
Not many things about war are fun. Weapons, too, at least the large-scale kind engineered for maximum destruction, might be interesting, but aren’t enjoyable to think about. When those weapons are a secret, though? I’d be lying if I said the phrase “secret weapon” brings my brain no joy. And although they might most frequently be unveiled by action-movie antagonists and anime-tournament combatants, there are secret weapons in real-life warfare as well.
In fact, here are five such weapons from history…
Fukuryu
Whether it’s from history books or bar menus, most people are familiar with the word kamikaze. It was the name for Japanese soldiers, usually pilots, who would, as a last resort, crash themselves and their ship into enemy vehicles and combatants. Of course, this was far from a secret.
What wasn’t well-known, and was barely used, was a specific type of kamikaze known as fukuryu, or “crouching dragons.” Instead of by air, they were designed to strike from underwater, as soldiers in diving suits wielding 33-pound explosive charges at the end of bamboo poles, wired to explode when thrust into an enemy ship’s hull. This would take out the wielder and hopefully the ship.
Greek Fire
For a significant period in history, attacking the Byzantine empire by sea was a horrendously bad idea. For one singular reason: Greek fire, an ancient weapon, the formulation of which was so tightly guarded that the exact recipe still isn’t known today.
As you might have guessed, Greek fire was an incendiary weapon. What made it so deadly at sea, usually not fire’s preferred biome, is that not only was Greek fire not extinguished in water, but it actually burned more intensely. All the Byzantine boatmen had to do was fire it out of tubes attached to their ships and the opposing craft were surrounded and coated in flames that refused to go out. If anyone survived, you can be damn sure they went back with a message not to fuck with Byzantine ships.
Messerschmitt Me 163 Komet
Now, this weapon was developed by Nazi Germany, so let’s emphasize that absolutely nothing about it besides the engineering and pure insanity involved was cool. Those parts, though, were awesome.
The Messerschmitt Me 163 Komet was, and is, the only rocket-powered fighter aircraft ever deployed, though it didn’t do much to turn the tide of the war. Were they effective? The answer to that is truly hilarious, a problem pulled straight out of Wile E. Coyote cartoons. The Komet was fast: It hit a top speed of 624 miles per hour. But the planes it was meant to intercept were going somewhere around 220 miles per hour, meaning that the Me 163 ended up shooting right past the aircraft it was supposed to fight.
The Claw of Archimedes
What better evidence that a weapon confused and terrified its enemies than a painting that completely misunderstands it?
The painting above is meant to portray what’s known as the “Claw of Archimedes.” The real thing wasn’t nearly as anthropomorphic, but was indeed effective. It was effectively a sort of crane mounted on the seaside walls of a city, with a dangling chain that would be fastened to an attacking ship’s prow. The Claw of Archimedes would then hoist up and drop the front of the ship repeatedly, like a bully dunking a nerd’s head in a public school toilet, often causing the boat to capsize.
This isn’t a theory, either. It worked incredibly well.
MKULTRA
I will never stop talking about MKULTRA, and I’m honestly confused why everyone else isn’t bringing it up more. The American government has admitted to covertly dosing people with LSD in an effort to create psychic warriors, and I’m supposed to talk to people about the weather?
I’m not saying to abolish small talk, I’m just saying, next time there’s a lull in conversation, try MKULTRA.