5 Times Frank Was A Business Genius on ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’
As Frank Reynolds often reminds his less business-savvy bar-mates on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, almost none of their get-rich-quick schemes ever pan out no matter what extreme measures they take to ensure success. Lucky for him, the quickest way to make money is to already have it.
Before joining the “Fringe Class,” Frank was a titan of industry. He started what we believe was an asset-management company called Atwater Capital. He opened a sweatshop in Vietnam during the 1990s. Then, he married a whoo-ur, and half of all those millions he acquired and all of the sprawling mansion he bought went to the mother of Bruce Mathis’ kids, then to Bruce Mathis himself. But, honestly, for all the alimony he paid and the money he wasted raising Dennis and Dee, Frank himself must admit that living in squalor like a true degenerate has made him happier than his previous life of luxury — but that doesn’t mean he isn’t always in the market for another few million dollars extracted using less-than-savory methods.
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Throughout It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Frank is constantly flexing his entrepreneurial muscles, oftentimes without the rest of the Gang noticing and always without a shred of business ethics. Here are the top five times Frank was an absolute shark, starting with…
Literally Buying the Land Out From Under Paddy’s Pub
In terms of sneakily securing his social standing within the Gang, this was easily Frank’s craftiest scheme. When an Israeli businessman moves in next door and finds that he owns half the property on which Paddy’s Pub rests, he inspires a typically terroristic response from his new neighbors in “The Gang Goes Jihad.” However, Frank offers his whoo-ur ex-wife’s new boy toy an enticing buyout that saves him from innumerable headaches and bomb threats, thus permanently staking his claim on Paddy’s Pub.
Of course, Paddy’s Pub isn’t exactly a booming business, so this little piece of entrepreneurialism was more personally profitable than literally so.
Fear-Mongering for Profit, Not Politics
I don’t know what Philadelphia-area TV news producer Frank had to bribe to get onto that morning show and incite a gun-craze that swept the city while waving his own revolvers around like they’re a couple of hoagies in “Gun Fever Too: Still Hot,” but the move paid off magnificently when sales at Gunther’s Guns skyrocketed. Naturally, Frank had a controlling stake in the gun shop, just as he had a piece of the action when it came to Philly’s toxic water supply and the life-saving filters every Philadelphian needs.
Pretending to Turn the Ski Slope Into A Corporate Retreat Only to Frack the Shit Out of It
In “The Gang Hits the Slopes,” Frank might not have been behind the seemingly omniscient announcer following the Gang’s every move — no one knows who did that one — but the rest of the 1980s ski movie parody was one big carefully orchestrated diversion to keep the rest of the Gang and the local environmentalists occupied while he harvested the precious natural gasses from underneath the resort.
Honestly, despite the 1980s-esque delirium that the gang suffered throughout the episode, they probably should have seen this one coming. After all, it’s not the first time Frank pulled a financial fake out…
Double-Crossing His Old Company and Selling It to the Japanese
Of course, that’s not what Frank called them, but this isn’t the list of “5 Times Frank Was Uncomfortably Racist on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” In the Season Eight episode “Frank’s Back in Business,” the executives of the struggling Atwater Capital call in their old founder in hopes that he can save them from a hostile takeover at a shareholder’s meeting just one week away. Frank seems to accept the challenge, only to end up finding a better deal overseas as he strips the company for parts. But, hey, at least the out-of-work Atwater employees ended up better than Brian Lefevre.
Securing A Bail-Out From the Federal Government
In the entire American economy, there is no greater cash cow than the government that seems to exclusively cut checks for the most irresponsible and undeserving members of the One Percent, a group for which Frank is practically the mascot. In the Season Five episode “The Great Recession,” Frank starts the storyline by trying to hang himself after losing all his riches in a Ponzi scheme, but just like the entire American automobile industry, his blundering failure is rewarded with a hefty bailout courtesy of the taxpayer.
I guess both Frank and his thick neck are simply too big to fail.