Twitter Builds the Case That Alvin from 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Is Gay

Why would a talking, singing and dancing cartoon chipmunk ever watch the works of transgressive cult filmmaker John Waters if the rodent himself wasn’t a member of the LGBTQ+ community? More importantly, why does a kids’ movie make us ask these questions?

When Armenian-American singer, songwriter and actor Ross Bagdasarian recorded his first novelty single in 1958 on a personal tape recorder with the speed control set high, he had no way of knowing that, almost 70 years later (and 50 years after his passing), his innovations in the field of gimmick music would be the center of a discussion on queer expression in cartoon media. 

No, when Bagdasarian recorded the uncomfortably racial smash hit song “Witch Doctor,” he hadn’t even come up with the cartoonish characters to whom he would assign the high-pitched, sped-up vocal parts in his novelty tracks. Then, months later, Bagdasarian dropped the first single to feature the vocal trio of Simon, Theodore and Alvin with “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late),” and a gay trailblazer was born.

Today, Alvin and the Chipmunks are, perhaps, best known for the series of feature-length, live-action/animation hybrid children’s films based off of the fictional boy band (buck band?) that premiered between 2007 and 2015 as much as they’re famous for the music itself. After watching the four modern-era Alvin and the Chipmunks movies, one fan of the franchise recently came to the conclusion that the titular lead singer must be canonically homosexual. 

After all, if Alvin were straight, then why would he and Waters have so much sexual chemistry?

So, yeah, at some point in time, Dave showed Alvin (and possibly the rest of The Chipmunks) the queer cinema classic Pink Flamingos, and Alvin watched legendary drag performer Divine eat actual dog shit on camera. Of course, watching and enjoying Pink Flamingos isn’t in itself proof that one is queer (though it’s a pretty good indicator), and most of the arguments for Alvin’s queer orientation are more based on vibes and body language than on any on-screen evidence of Alvin being attracted to other male chipmunks.

However, Waters himself has his own agenda in the debate over Alvin’s sexuality, as, just a year after the release of Alvin and the Chipmunks in 2007, the iconic gay filmmaker told Details, “I’m erotically obsessed with Alvin. I talk about that on my Christmas show — how I wanted to have sex with Alvin and the Chipmunks.” Waters even revealed that a “real animator” once created a scene of Alvin in an intimate moment for Waters' private enjoyment, and Waters called the X-rated animation, “One of the best presents I ever got.”

With Waters’ sexual attraction toward Alvin public knowledge, the makers of the 2015 film Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip still decided to have Waters appear as himself in the above cameo, which might just be the most decisive piece of evidence in the debate. If Alvin wasn’t gay, then why would his producers arrange a meet-cute for the chipmunk with his biggest and most carnal male admirer?

Also, God help any child who streamed Pink Flamingos in hopes of seeing some singing birds.