Woody Harrelson’s First Movie Included a Vicious Burn of Ted Danson

A visit from Dax Shepard meant a trip down movie memory lane for Woody Harrelson this week on the Where Everybody Knows Your Name podcast. First, Harrelson complained about censors and their “pretty random” cuts to one of his first movies, Natural Born Killers. The edits “really worked to the detriment of the artist’s vision,” he said.

But that wasn’t Harrelson’s first break on the big screen. “I’m just remembering you actually did White Men Can't Jump before that, right?” asked Shepard. “Was that the first big shot off of Cheers you got?”

Not quite. “Just before that,” Harrelson clarified, “I did Doc Hollywood with Michael J. Fox.”  

The mention of Doc Hollywood got co-host Ted Danson’s attention. “You know what? Fuck you.”

Whoa! Doc Hollywood was a pleasant little hit for Fox back in the days when he was knocking out Teen Wolf and Back to the Future, the Capraesque tale of a big-city doctor who finds happiness in a small town. What about the feel-good Doc Hollywood could inspire such vitriol from Danson?

“You want to tell that story?” asked Danson.

“What do you mean?” replied Harrelson innocently.

“Son of a bitch.”

“What’s the story? I don’t even know.”

Here’s the story, according to Danson, even though telling it had him “getting angry all over again.” 

Harrelson finishes his first movie, playing second banana to Fox. “So Woody comes to me and says, ‘Teddy, the show has a premiere, and it would mean so much to me if you came.’ And I was so touched. It was so sweet.”

On the night of the premiere, Danson walks in and is instantly greeted by Harrelson. “He says, ‘Right here! I’ve saved seats for you right here. I go, My god, the kid loves me. He really does. This is astounding.”

Danson watches the movie, and “it’s all sweet and wonderful. And toward the end of the movie, Michael and the hick town, he brings them all including Woody’s character to Hollywood. And they’re sitting in a drugstore fountain area, being excited about the Hollywood figures they’re seeing.” 

“And the line was, ‘Oh look, there’s a movie star!’”

“Then Woody says, ‘No, that’s Ted Danson.’”

The entire audience at the screening roared with laughter. “And so I had to sit there going, ‘Yeah, that was a good one,’” Danson remembered. “Stab, stab in the heart.” 

“I thought you might think it was funny,” giggled Harrelson, “but I guess not.”

Harrelson made sure to correct Danson’s memory as well. “You left out one word,” he said. The actual line: “That’s just Ted Danson.”

Danson tried to get revenge on Harrelson a few years later in Seth MacFarlane’s Ted. The scene may not have made the final cut, but Danson played a coked-up version of himself reminiscing about his Cheers years. He made sure to include the line: “Woody Harrelson — smallest penis I’ve ever seen on a man.”

Harrelson says he never saw that scene in Ted.

“Well,” said Danson, “it’s in the podcast now, my friend.”