David Letterman’s Jury Duty Appearance Was His Funniest Gig in Years

Apart from the odd political fundraiser, occasional Netflix special and that one charity raffle, former Late Show host David Letterman hasn’t been up to all that much these days. But Letterman just gave one of his funniest performances in years — unfortunately we can’t actually see it, because it happened during jury duty. No, not the hidden camera show, like, actual jury duty.

As reported by ABC News, Letterman was called for jury duty in New York City, to potentially serve as one of twelve jurors, or four alternates, for a criminal trial involving “cryptocurrency fraud.” In order to determine whether or not he would be picked, Letterman was asked a number of personal questions by the judge presiding over the case. And his answers were, unsurprisingly, hilarious. 

Letterman, or “Juror 16” as he was known in court, first fielded a very basic question by Judge P. Kevin Castel: “Where do you live?” Not able to help himself from being a total wise-ass, Letterman responded, “Hartford,” since living in Connecticut would have rendered him ineligible to serve on the New York jury. “No, it's a joke,” Letterman immediately added. 

Thankfully for the comedian, the judge seemed to have a good sense of humor. When asked about his current employment, Letterman claimed that he was “working for a company called Netflix.” 

“Spouse or significant other?” asked the judge. “I’ve had both. Currently I just have the spouse,” Letterman quipped. 

The judge then inquired about where Letterman gets his news. “Every morning I used to pick up the paper off the front porch. Now, I turn on the computer, and it’s an aggregation of news sources from all over the United States and around the world,” the “Stupid Pet Tricks” pioneer over-explained.

They also chatted about his hobbies (fishing and skiing) and his love of the Indianapolis Colts. When asked if he had ever served on a jury before, Letterman answered, “Been called many times. Just couldn’t make it happen.”

Back during his Late Show days, Letterman discussed the fact that he had been called for jury duty twice, but had never been selected, which he took “personally.” Although he may not have been the most unbiased candidate. “If you know anything about me, you know that I believe that everyone is guilty,” Letterman joked with his audience at the time. “I wanna lock up some perps!”

In the end, Letterman wasn’t selected to be part of the crypto case jury because the prosecutor used one of their allocated “strikes” to release him. While “no reason was given,” it’s possible that they were worried that having a celebrity in the courtroom would be too distracting. Although you’d think the prosecutor would want Mr. “Everyone is Guilty” on the panel. 

Who knows, maybe they’re just big Leno fans. 

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