Ferris Bueller Originally Went to a Strip Club on His Day Off

Back in the 1980s, when the idea of wealthy sociopaths flagrantly breaking the rules was considered hilarious, we got Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, the iconic comedy starring Matthew Broderick as the titular teenage rebel. 

The movie, of course, finds Ferris skipping class by faking an illness, thanks to the power of mannequins and synthesizers. While most of us would be happy to spend a day off in that sweet bedroom, Ferris, along with his girlfriend Sloane and best friend Cameron, heads into Chicago, where he catches a baseball game, visits an art gallery and hijacks a float during a crowded parade that’s happening in the middle of a workday for some unknown reason.

Ferris justifies his deceit by pointing out “life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once and awhile, you might miss it.”

Originally, Ferris’ “day off” was even more improbably packed, and featured a stop at a strip joint. Yeah nothing says stopping to enjoy life than spending a beautiful sunny day inside of a windowless, smoke-filled bar.

In an earlier draft of John Hughes’ script, the trio of minors visit a “garish, nearly deserted strip joint.” Sloane feels “embarrassed and revolted” and complains that she’s losing respect for Ferris “by the bucket.” I mean, she literally faked her grandfather’s death just so her boyfriend could ogle naked strangers? Seems like a fair complaint.

Ferris then tries to defend his choice of activity by pointing out that exotic dancers may be desperate because they “lost somebody” like a “lover” or a “child,” which is extremely condescending and just plain weird. Ferris was a bit a creep in the finished film, but at least he never used a hypothetical dead kid to rationalize his own horniness. 

Then Ferris addresses us, the audience, and stresses that he’s not actually a “sex maniac” but really a “romantic” who’s mostly just worried about loneliness. Which is perhaps another reason why he shouldn’t have risked alienating his girlfriend forever by dragging her to a club against her will. 

As the dancer exits, Ferris hops on to the stage and lip-syncs to the Elvis song “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” Had this scene been included, they probably would have had to change the title to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Comes to an Abrupt End After a Bouncer Beats the Snot Out of Him.

While this scene was obviously scrapped, the finished movie did include some risqué scenes, like the part when Ferris’ classmates send him… a singing sex worker in a nurse costume? Who shows up along with a guy holding balloons and Louie Anderson? And who’s that creepy guy in the mask behind her?

Forget the planned spin-off about those two parking attendants, what’s going on with this quartet of characters?

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