Elon Musk Might Have Pitched the Worst ‘SNL’ Sketch Ever to the Show’s Writers

Kate McKinnon would have been forced to return her Emmys

Elon Musk makes all the lists of awful Saturday Night Live hosts. But here’s the scary part — his 2021 show could have been so much worse. At a tech-bro event called the All-In Summit this week, Musk regaled the crowd with his sketch pitch to SNL that never made it to air. 

Musk’s premise: Everyone always wonders if Saturday Night Live is actually live. They sit around their living rooms pondering if the show is “live-live, or do they have a delay just in case there's a wardrobe malfunction or something like that?” (Note to Elon: No one ever wonders this.)

To test whether the show was literally live from New York, Musk proposed the following. “The way that we’re going to do this is I’m going to take my cock out,” said the world’s richest man. “If you see my cock, you know it’s true. And if you don’t, we’re gonna bust them right now.”

By the way, Musk revealed to the tech crowd, the pitch was on Zoom. He, along with a couple of his funny friends (one is a real-life Cartman!), “came in guns blazing with ideas.” One problem: “We didn’t realize that’s not how it works.” Turns out the show employs actual comedy writers who handle the sketch stuff.

Another problem: The pitch was met with dead silence. “I was like, is this thing working?” said Elon. “Are we muted?”  

“We hear you,” said the SNL writers. And then, back to crickets. 

Elon realized no one was laughing because he hadn’t reached the punchline. “I’m gonna reach down into my pants. I’m gonna tell the audience I’m going to pull out my cock, and the audience is gonna be like, ‘Whaaa?’ And then I pull out a baby rooster.”

Get it? 

“This is my tiny cock,” he’d joke. “Do you think it’s a nice cock? I like it.”

Cue Kate McKinnon, who at this point would enter the sketch holding a cat.  

MCKINNON: Elon, I expected you would have a bigger cock. 
ELON: I hate to disappoint you, but I hope you like it anyway. That’s a nice pussy you got there, Kate. It looks a little wet. Was it raining outside? 

(HOLD FOR APPLAUSE) 

ELON: Do you mind if I stroke your pussy? Is that cool? 
MCKINNON: Actually, can I hold your cock? 
ELON: Of course.

They trade. 

MCKINNON: Wow, I really like stroking your cock. 
ELON: I’m really enjoying stroking your pussy. 

To Musk’s chagrin, the sketch wasn’t considered for the (actually live) show. The reason SNL gave him for rejecting this high-concept comedy gem? 

“Well, it is Mother’s Day.”

“Good point,” Musk conceded. 

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