12 Facts About Boozing in Space NASA Would Prefer Not to Discuss
No frontier can be explored without humans asking one simple question: Can I drink there?
Alcohol goes hand-in-hand with humans throughout history, and efforts to ban it have typically gone over about as well as a lead balloon. With self-awareness and curiosity comes a crushing need to tamp it down on occasion, and ethanol has provided that in spades. Even space, the final frontier, has piqued the curiosity of visitors as to whether it might be even better three beers deep.
This article not your thing? Try these...
Despite the fact that drinking in zero gravity sounds like an activity engineered to boost human puke production, it has indeed been pursued and achieved — just usually not with NASA’s permission. Here are 12 facts about space booze-sipping that NASA definitely didn’t sanction…
You Can’ t Be Drunk on Takeoff
Shutterstock
You’d think that laws about drunk driving would clearly inform sobriety upon takeoff. NASA clearly didn’t think that it was something they were going to have to write down, but then 2007 happened. A report was published that suggested some astronauts may have flown while blowing .08 or above, and they officially banned alcohol consumption within 12 hours of a space flight.
Wet Beer Burps Are Highly Dangerous
If you were hoping to crack open a cold one while staring down at the pale blue dot, bad news. Beer, because of its carbonation, is a dangerous drink in space. Apparently, the bubbles inspire burps, but in zero gravity, liquid doesn’t really settle at the bottom of the stomach. This results in what they refer to as “wet burps,” which is NASA’s way of saying you’ll end up with two chipmunk cheeks full of upchuck. Given that uncontrolled liquid is frowned upon near electronics in general, this could clearly be dangerous.
Beer Has No Head in Space
Shutterstock
Even if you do sneak a brew into space, you’re not going to be able to admire a classic, frothy pint. In a gravity-free environment, bubbles aren’t scientifically motivated to rise to the top. Which means that no picturesque white head would form on a theoretical astronaut's freshly poured ale.
Buzz Aldrin Drank Wine Up There
He drank wine not only on Apollo 11, but on the moon itself. Granted, it was part of the communion ritual and not to see how the moon looked with beer goggles on, but still. You may not have heard about it because between the booze and the religious nature of his ingestion, NASA decided it was something they’d rather not share at all, if they didn’t have to.
Sherry Was Shot Down Because It Triggered Gag Reflexes
Shutterstock
NASA, like a tired parent, did briefly seem to give up on preventing space alcohol, and considered sending some up with the astronauts. The liquor chosen to go up in the shuttle was a sherry, because of its stability. Unfortunately, it never made it off the ground, because testing in zero-gravity found that its smell was particularly adept at hitting the stomach's “abort” button. Personally, I think NASA designed the whole plan to fail, because why else would you pick sherry?
The First Alcohol in Space Was Cognac
The first ever alcohol in space was smuggled aboard by the Russians in preparation for an orbital birthday. In 1971, a bottle of cognac was stowed in a blood pressure wristband and made its way skyward, all the way to the Salyut-7 station. No word on whether any cake was brought along as well. Though now that I think about it, a squeeze tube of birthday cake sounds pretty good.
Alcohol Turns Into Froth in Space
Besides the regulatory difficulty of imbibing alcohol in space, it's also very difficult in a more literal sense. For example, in a bottle or flask, without gravity it’s very hard to get the booze out of the container it came in. Even when you eventually coax it out, per one cosmonaut, it combines with the air to form a sort of alcoholic froth, which doesn't sound nearly as refreshing.
Russia’ s Cool With Drunk Cosmonauts
Shutterstock
Over on the Russki side of the space race, precautions taken to prevent space drinking are much looser. They still might not actively encourage cosmonauts to imbibe, but it’s officially permitted. In fact, on the space station Mir, American astronauts were forced to sit by and teetotal while the cosmonauts had the go-ahead to knock back a bit of vodka.
Cosmonauts Would Lose Weight to Smuggle Alcohol Onboard
Smuggling alcohol into space is a little tougher than getting a water bottle full of vodka into a music festival. Part of this is because of how tightly the weight of any and everything aboard is controlled. But according to Igor Volk, he and his fellow cosmonauts figured out a convenient form of mass switcheroo: They’d diet heavily the week before launch, and substitute those pounds with the exact same weight's worth of contraband space liquor.
Champagne Is Super Banned in Space
Shutterstock
Despite all the ways the envelope has been pushed in terms of sneaking alcohol in space, there’s one drink that’s forbidden above all else: champagne. You don’t need deep knowledge of NASA regulations and engineering to understand why on this one. The pressure and rogue cork of champagne can cause chaos even at a normal, full-gravity party. In space? That’s too many variables for a couple sips of bubbly.
There’ s A Whisky That Was Aged on the ISS
In what has to be a bit of added insult to injury, though astronauts haven’t ever been permitted to drink in space, they have been asked to age whisky there. Scotch distillery Ardbeg sent up some samples that spent three years in orbit, to see what subtle notes space might add to a aged whisky. The results? It tasted distinctly different from earth-aged whisky, and not necessarily in a positive way.
Alcohol Distillation Is Very Difficult in Space
Shutterstock
Space-aging alcohol might be possible, but distilling it in space? That’s another story. It’s as simple as the fact that normal distillation processes won't work without gravity. Which, sadly, means we’re a long way off from making literal “moon”-shine.