Was ‘Seinfeld’ at the Vanguard of the Public Urination Debate?

Uromysitisis poisoning may not be real, but other urinators have faced similar persecution

One of the most memorable (and surprisingly expensive) episodes of Seinfeld finds the gang trapped inside of a shopping mall parking garage, unable to locate Kramer’s car. Elaine spends the majority of “The Parking Garage” fretting over the health of her pet goldfish, George is desperately trying to make a dinner appointment with his parents to celebrate their anniversary and Jerry gets busted for public urination. 

After relieving himself in a dark corner of the garage (at Kramer’s insistence), Jerry is immediately nabbed by a security guard. He tries to plead his case, arguing that he had no choice but to do a number one in public because of a medical condition: uromysitisis poisoning. 

Although the disease is completely made-up, Jerry invents an elaborate backstory, claiming that he’s been in and out of hospitals since the age of 11, and has been informed by doctors that “the best thing to do is just release it,” otherwise he could die.

Proving that Seinfeld really had its finger on the pulse of modern America, even more than 30 years ago, a similar incident was recently in the news. Former computer executive Richard Becker is suing his old company for $1.5 million claiming that he was “wrongly fired” and discriminated against after he was spotted “peeing in the lobby of a Times Square hotel” following a business meeting.

According to Becker, he suffers from a bladder condition that left him no choice but to “do his other business in public on the Westin floor.” Becker was fired just four days later, even though the company allegedly had “full knowledge of his longtime bladder condition.”

While we’ll have to see how this case specifically shakes out, one could argue that the U.S. is way too tough on public urinators in general, so much so that children have been penalized for peeing in public. Last year a 10-year-old kid was arrested and prosecuted in Mississippi for public urination, and earlier this year in New York City, a mother was issued a public urination summons over a four-year-old’s “emergency.”

If this country really wants to put a stop to public urination, a larger problem needs to be addressed: a distinct lack of public restrooms. According to a 2021 report, the U.S. “has only eight public toilets per 100,000 people.” According to one survey, 72 percent of people who have had public accidents said that they “definitely” or “probably” would have been able to avoid them had there been “a nearby restroom.”

In the case of Becker, while hotel staff pointed out that there was a restroom in the lobby, he claims that he had to run back 12 blocks to the hotel, but didn’t make it in time. Had there been a public restroom available in any of those 12 blocks, this whole ugly episode could have been avoided. 

Same goes for Jerry’s parking garage misdemeanor. Come to think of it, George Costanza’s app would have really come in handy. 

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter (if it still exists by the time you’re reading this).

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