Norm Macdonald Auditioned for the Aflac Duck

Gilbert Gottfried blew it. His job squawking “AF-LAC!” on insurance commercials was one of the cushiest gigs around, earning him big paychecks for easy afternoons of voice-over work. He lost the gig in 2011, however, when he took to Twitter to make jokes about a Japanese earthquake and subsequent tsunami. Reminiscent of his 9/11 jokes that practically invented the term “too soon,” Gottfried unleashed one-liners like “I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, ‘They’ll be another one floating by any minute now.’”

Despite an eventual apology, Gottfried’s gags were a step too far for Aflac, which didn’t want its duck associated with such insensitivity. Japan accounted for about 75 percent of Aflac’s business, so the breakup with Gottfried was understandable. But it meant the insurer needed a new duck voice, prompting a casting call that saw more than 12,000 people competing to quack for Aflac.

One of the people who auditioned for the gig? Comedian Norm Macdonald told the gang on The Howard Stern Show that he tried out for the job. Robin Quivers wondered if Macdonald tried to imitate Gottfried or if he worked up his own interpretation of the insurance duck.

“I’ve only been on like five auditions in my life,” Macdonald confessed. “And everyone’s been a fucking nightmare.” 

Macdonald’s assumption was that he’d get into the recording booth and say “Aflac” a few times — easy, right? But the woman running the auditions had something else in mind. “She goes, ‘Listen. I want you to create a story,’” Macdonald remembered. “‘Just think of the duck. Be quizzical and funny and then sarcastic and then serious and then sexy.’ She goes, ‘Just create a story. Have fun!’”

“They all say fucking have fun with it,” Macdonald growled. 

“Three seconds in, I’m like, ‘I want to get the fuck out of here,’” he continued. “So she left and then there was just me and a guy with a hat. I said, ‘Listen man, I’ll just say ‘Aflac’ and get the fuck out of here because know I only got so many fucking moments in my life.’”

Undeterred, the Guy with a Hat kept trying to give Macdonald directions. “He’s telling me how to say Aflac, I’m saying Aflac,” Macdonald griped. But throughout his short audition, all he could think was, “I don’t have that many years left!”

Needless to say, Macdonald didn’t get the job. Instead, it went to Dan McKeague, a “clean-cut Minnesota father of three” not known for making light of tragedies on social media. McKeague’s duck was Gottfried-esque but without the baggage associated with the “too soon” comic. Given Macdonald’s career-long habit of pissing off his bosses, Aflac probably made the right choice.