The Pettiest Grudges Held by Historical Figures
You’d think historical figures would be too busy to really get a good grip on a meaty grudge, as full as their schedules were with historical stuff. Some of them refused to let renown get in the way of a big sip of haterade, however, even for the silliest reasons.
Mark Twain Hated the Post Office
If you’d lived in Twain’s time, you definitely would have known about his vendetta against the post office. Every time a new postmaster was elected or a new regulation was adopted, there he was, writing editorials, essentially shaking his fist at clouds. His gripe mostly came down to thinking it was expensive and inefficient, which we all do, but we don’t make careers out of it.
Charles Waterton Ostracized John James Audubon Over Vultures
In 1826, famous bird guy Audubon got it into his head that maybe vultures scavenge by sight rather than smell, apparently with no idea how much he was about to offend naturalist Waterton. He declared that Audubon “ought to be whipped,” wrote 19 letters in five years to the Magazine of Natural History smearing him and began publishing them himself when the magazine stopped returning his calls. Does it even matter if he was right?
Sir Isaac Newton Relentlessly Pursued a Counterfeiter
In 1696, the Royal Mint took a shot in the dark, asked Newton if he knew how to solve their counterfeiting problem, and was so impressed with his answer they appointed him Warden. Part of his duties were investigating counterfeiters, which he wasn’t thrilled about until he found out that one of London’s biggest anti-counterfeiting crusaders, William Chaloner, was one of its biggest practitioners. He was so pissed at the man’s audacity that he went all Javert on him for three years until Chaloner was arrested, convicted and hanged. They took counterfeiting really seriously back then.
King Louis Philippe I Went to War Over a Pastry Shop
In the 1820s and 1830s, Mexico was rather unrested, what with the War of Independence and all, and some French business owners operating in Mexico got caught in the crossfire. Mexico was already deep in debt to France, but when a particular pastry shop owner came to King Louis Philippe I to complain that they had refused to pay for damages to his storefront, it was the straw that broke le chameau’s back. He sent troops to invade Mexico and didn’t let up until they agreed to pay. Not even their entire debt — just for the pastry shop. They must have been good-ass pastries.
Van Gogh Might Have Lost an Ear to Bad Roommate Etiquette
The accepted narrative about Van Gogh’s ear is that he cut it off “in a fit of lunacy” after an argument with his fellow artist and roommate Paul Gauguin, but some academics now believe Gauguin got so fed up with Van Gogh that he sliced it off with a sword during the fight. It’s important to note that it took place after two “unhappy” months of living together during which Van Gogh displayed “a tendency to take advantage of Gauguin, dipping into his money, not taking part in the household chores.” We’re not saying you should perform an auriculectomy on your thieving, non-vacuuming roommate — we’re just saying there might be precedent.