5 Ex-‘SNL’ Cast Members We Wish Would Stop Coming Back

John Belushi wasn’t the only Thing That Wouldn’t Leave

In the early days of Saturday Night Live, John Belushi starred in a horror movie parody that was based on his real-life habit of overstaying his welcome. What were ordinary people supposed to do with houseguests like Belushi, the man known as The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave? 

In the intervening years, SNL has unfortunately encouraged more Things That Wouldn’t Leave — departed cast members who can’t quit returning to the old show. Nostalgia is great but with 20-plus comedians in the current cast, there are already too many mouths to feed. 

Here are five SNL stars who need to stop giving us the horror movie treatment and take a permanent hike…

The ‘I Wish It Was Christmas Today’ Guys

The most charming part of the original holiday performance was its raggedy-ass nature, featuring Horatio Sanz on a stringed something-or-other and Jimmy Fallon (badly) poking a Casio keyboard. Tracy Morgan’s stoner shuffle added to the confusion, making “I Wish It Was Christmas Today” an amusing one-off.

The problem: The guys kept coming back. There were at least six versions performed on SNL, all more or less the same except the guys gaining weight after leaving the show. If you’re going to do six of these bad boys (not counting reunions on Fallon’s Tonight Show), could you come up with variations that don’t involve the Muppets?

The Five-Timers Club

As the years go on and more hosts are outfitted with their Five-Timers smoking jackets, the novelty has worn off. Especially when you consider that about 20 percent of the club includes former cast members who just can’t stay away — Tina Fey, Bill Murray, Will Ferrell, Kristen Wiig and even former writer John Mulaney.  

Not only do the show’s alumni hog a lot of the hosting spots, but they return again and again to welcome each other into the Five Timers’ Club. You’re SNL royalty, we get it. Now sit down!

Chevy Chase

I haven’t even mentioned the former cast member with the most hosting appearances — that’s Chase, with eight freaking shots at the job. If Chase was a beloved big brother type, that would be more understandable. But each time he returned to the show, he alienated a new generation of cast members. 

“When he got there, he was a monster,” says Terry Sweeney about Chase’s return in Season 11. “I mean, he insulted everybody.” 

After Chase’s hosting appearance in Season 22, he was supposedly banned for life after slapping Cheri Oteri’s head and asking a female writer for a hand job. But Chase keeps coming back again and again — he’s cameoed four times and appeared in two SNL anniversary shows in the years since he was “forbidden” to come back. Get lost means get lost, Chevy!

Alec Baldwin

 

Okay, okay, Baldwin has never been a cast member but he certainly qualifies as an SNL star. He’s hosted the show more times than any other celebrity (17 and counting) and has shown up for sketches in an astounding 52 additional shows. Several actual cast members haven’t appeared in that many.

And Baldwin keeps coming back, most recently last November in the Timothée Chalamet episode. Couldn’t SNL devote more time to another actor who’s given fewer depositions?

Fred Armisen

 

Believe it or not, Armisen actually did leave the show back in 2013. You may not have noticed since he has returned twenty-three times since his “departure.” In fact, 2017 was the only calendar year in which he hasn’t appeared since leaving the show. (Six cameos in 2016 and 2018 didn’t give us much of a chance to miss him.)

Amazingly, Armisen has only hosted once in all those years. Who’s got the time when you’re practically still a member of the cast?

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