Here’s What Brian Boitano Thought of ‘South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut’

Next time you wander into a movie theater and find yourself to be the subject of a comically catchy song near the climax of the film, just ask yourself: What would Brian Boitano do? 

In the 1999 hit film South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, franchise creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone flexed their showtune-writing muscles in a display of musical might that wouldn’t be matched until they opened their Tony-winning Broadway debut The Book of Mormon over a decade later. From “Kyle’s Mom’s A Big Fat Bitch” to “Blame Canada” to, of course, “What Would Brian Boitano Do?” (parts I and II), the first South Park movie is absolutely loaded with all-time great earworms that left audiences humming along as they exited the theater.

Figure skating champion and Olympic gold medalist Brian Boitano was one such audience member who saw South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut in theaters in 1999, and has since described the experience of hearing the rest of the audience laugh at the over-the-top absurdity of Boitano being the South Park universe’s equivalent of Jesus meets Superman as “surreal.”

In a 2007 talk with Entertainment Weekly, the two-time figure skating world champion and four-time national victor said that, as soon as he heard that both he and his accomplishments were heavily featured in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, he decided that he had to go into the theater and see the film — by himself. “I just wanted to go alone,” Boitano recalled. “I’m in this crowded movie theater, and I’m like, ‘Oh my God, don’t trash me. Don’t trash me.’ Like I remember that moment when Stan just stops and goes, ‘What would Brian Boitano do?’ He’s talking about me, and everyone’s laughing. It was just surreal.”

Boitano revealed that, though he still hadn’t met Parker and Stone at the time of the EW interview, he had nothing but respect and admiration for the South Park duo — especially after they signed off on Boitano and his agent releasing a line of “What Would Brian Boitano Do?” merchandise to raise money for charity. Boitano would later appear in the TV documentary special VH1 Goes Inside: South Park to give the show its flowers, and Parker and Stone even sent the figure skating legend a touching Christmas card in the holiday season following the documentary. “They sent me this really cool thing with my little character on it, and it said, ‘South Park loves Brian Boitano,’” Boitano explained. “And then Matt wrote, ‘I love you!’ and Trey wrote, ‘We love you! Thank you so much!’”

Ever since “What Would Brian Boitano Do?” first became a certified banger, the subject of the song has embraced his place in the South Park canon, saying in a separate interview with The San Francisco Chronicle, “It’s become such a part of my life. … Kids who don’t know who I am, or what I did at the Olympics, meet me and think I’m cool because I’m in South Park.”

I’d like to think that Saddam Hussein has a similar outlook on his South Park portrayal down in Hell.