This Perfect Russell Brand Parody Remains Undefeated

Once again, the alt-right’s resident big-word bullshitter has abused Twitter’s character limit like it’s a 16-year-old girl.

On Monday, accused serial rapist and conservative conspiracy grifter Russell Brand desperately attempted to insert himself in the online discourse over the upcoming American election, despite Brand being a U.K. citizen whose opinion on our democracy hasn’t mattered since 1783. Brand, whose alleged and long history of sexual harassment, abuse and assault of numerous women stretching back to the early aughts is the subject of the documentary Russell Brand: In Plain Sight, tweeted a rambling, pretentious and sesquipedalian takedown of Vice President Kamala Harris that was riddled with embarrassing malapropisms and spelling errors as he called Harris’ potential candidacy for U.S. President a “cutaneous and genetic novelty to a famished pack of secularist devotees so bewildered that melatonin and an ‘X chromosome’ could represent to them some kind of pyrrhic victory.”

Bearing in mind the objective facts that every single human being has an X chromosome and melatonin is a hormone that plays a role in sleep — the word Brand should have used when he tried to attack Vice President Harris’ skin color was “melanin” — it’s high time that we revisit British-Australian comedian Morgana Robinson’s incredible impression and dissection of Brand from the show Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe in 2015, early in Brand‘s slide toward alt-right chemtrail-spotting and thesaurus-misusing:

Robinson was a regular guest star on the Black Mirror creator‘s satirical news series, reprising her Brand impression on multiple episodes and even playing the former comedian and current culture warrior in a sketch that saw Brand becoming Prime Minister of the U.K. after every single citizen forgets to cast a vote in a recount election. 

However, for all the brilliance of the above segments, there are some inaccuracies in Robinson‘s performance that we should acknowledge in the interest of fairness to England‘s most farcical thought leader: First, Robinson‘s command of the English language is far more concise and accurate than Brand‘s usual use of several-syllable words with meanings that are unknown to the “political” “activist” and that don‘t correctly fit in the run-on sentences wherein he places them. Additionally, even when he was an actual entertainer and not just a loquacious mouthpiece for internet hate groups, Brand has never been creative enough to call television an “HBOpium of the masses.”

If anything, Robinson‘s impression is positively complimentary when compared to Brand‘s actual Twitter feed and paywalled podcast episodes. Robinson‘s Brand is so much more coherent and literate than the real (alleged) rapist, so, if Robinson‘s satire of Brand‘s arrogant, meaningless and verbose brand of cultural criticism ever goes out of style, it will be because the real-life blowhard became too much of a living parody for anyone to attempt to understand him without their brains turning to mush. 

Just like Brand‘s did the moment he realized how much money he could make by tricking COVID deniers into thinking that he knew what the term “gene therapy” means.