Joe Rogan Refuses to Step Foot in Canada

Not now that it’s a Communist hellscape

Joe Rogan’s former day job involved trapping people in morgues and feeding them horse rectum-cockroach salads, yet now he's apparently terrified to step foot in… Canada? He knows it’s the same country that gave the world poutine and the Barenaked Ladies, right?

On the most recent episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, Rogan told guest Sam Morril that he loves Canada because they have “20 percent less douchebags” but added, “I don’t go to Canada anymore. Not while that guy’s president. Fuck you. Or whatever he is. Prime minister.”

Rogan went on to say that he doesn’t dare venture north of the border, because “they’re so far into tyranny right now. They’re in the middle of a full-blown communist takeover.”

First of all, referring to President Justin Trudeau as the leader of a “communist takeover” is more than a little laughable. Yes, nothing says “communism” quite like a literal millionaire who keeps funneling taxpayer money to massive corporations

Rogan’s complaints seem to mainly stem Canada’s hate speech laws, because Canadians don’t realize that “compelled speech has a terrible ending.” Seemingly Rogan is referring to the controversial Online Harms Act that proposes that “extreme online hate speech” on social media should be investigated by a human-rights tribunal.

But as some have pointed out, most of the actual “harms” outlined by the bill are “already clearly illegal.” And while other parts of the bill have been blasted by some free-speech advocates as a “massive overreach,” it’s important to note that it hasn’t actually passed a vote in Parliament, which is by no means a sure thing seeing as staffing the new regulators would reportedly “cost around $200 million over five years” and earlier versions of the bill have repeatedly bombed.

Rogan also complained about the 2022 Canadian government’s handling of the trucker convoy that protested Trudeau’s vaccine border requirements, which also happened to be the same as the United States’ border requirements, thus arguably making the protest completely pointless.

At the time, Rogan claimed that Canada was “in revolt.” In reality, not even all of Canada’s truck drivers were in revolt; several trucking associations pointed out that their members were mostly vaccinated, some claiming numbers as high as 85 and 90 percent.

Now Rogan is claiming that “the people that were donating to the truckers, (the government) seized their bank accounts.” While it’s true that nearly 200 bank accounts were frozen to end the “Freedom Convoy” occupation, claims that small donors were affected by this move were false per the Royal Canadian Mounted Polcie. Rogan may still take issue with the government’s actions, but his phrasing is a flagrant mischaracterization of what actually happened. 

It could also be argued that Rogan’s beloved home of Texas wouldn’t stack up all that well in a civil liberties competition with Canada, considering that Canuck freedoms such as smoking weed and abortion care are punishable by law in the Lone Star state. Not to mention, Texas’ recent state laws emboldening book bans, thus protecting children from the horrors of picture books about naked crayons.

Canada is far from perfect, but it’s not the dystopian hellscape that exists inside Joe Rogan’s brain. And Bill Maher’s brain. Also Rob Schneider’s brain – although he may be slightly biased since he was just booed off stage at a Canadian fundraiser.

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