The Five Most Insane Facts About Canada in the ‘South Park’ Universe
In the entire South Park canon, no country constantly one-ups itself with weirdness quite like Canada — as is tradition.
When Trey Parker and Matt Stone debuted the cartoon-within-a-cartoon “Terrance and Phillip” in South Park Season One, they deliberately designed the duo to have even cruder animation and humor than the rest of the show, which was already heavily criticized by its haters in such departments. As the series went on, the esteemed Canadians’ characterization carried over to the rest of the Great White North, and, in the quarter century since Canada first entered the South Park universe, the show’s writing staff has only continued to escalate the joke about Canada’s outrageous customs and quirks to startling new heights.
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As such, here are the strangest aspects of South Park’s Canada for the enjoyment of Canadians everywhere, and, therefore, of course, the world.
ThereThere’s something special about Canada that brings out Parker and Stone’s musical sides, which is why, when they decided to dedicate an entire season finale and Christmas special to parodying The Wizard of Oz back in 2003, only one country made sense as the setting. In “It’s Christmas in Canada,” a chorus of Canucks give the boys directions to the Prime Minister — well, direction, singular, since there’s only one road.
Make sure to go the right way, and watch out for Scott the Dick. Speaking of which…
They Have A National Dick
Everyone in Canada knows about Scott, and everyone thinks he’s a dick. The arch-nemesis of Terrance and Phillip and the country’s foremost TV critic can be seen causing a stink (but not the funny kind) while puttering around in his PT Cruiser, and everywhere he goes, he’s met with scorn and some kind of introduction along the lines of, “Oh no, it’s Scott! He’s a dick!” However, for all of Scott’s dickishness, he is, after all a true patriot, who would never spoil such an event as…
The Entire Royal Wedding
There are simply too many Canada facts dropped in the classic Season 15 episode “The Royal Pudding” to choose just one, so here are a few of the traditions that, apparently, are customary for every royal wedding in Canada: Winnipeg drummers playing “The March of a Thousand Farts” as guests enter, gently tossing Cap’n Crunch at the groom as he walks up the aisle, the groom dipping his arms into the royal butterscotch pudding, the bride scraping it off, and, of course, the groom tearing one of the bride’s arms off and shoving it up his ass. Tooth Decay, on the other hand, is anything but traditional.
They Have Their Own Devil
Mormonism may be the one true religion in the South Park universe, but the creators of the Canadian cosmology must have missed that lesson, along with the one on the English alphabet. In the Season 18 episode “Freemium Isn’t Free,” the Canadian Minister of Mobile Gaming, also known as Beelzeboot, also known as The Canadian Devil, devises a scheme to trick gamers into blowing all their money on microtransactions in a Terrance and Phillip mobile game, eventually gaining control over every soul in Canada. It took normal Satan inhabiting Stan’s body to put an end to the Canadian Devil and his complete lack of nuance.
At 8 And 11, They All Face East and Play Chuck Mangione
Did you forget about this one, or did you not care to find out about their religious customs? Mr. Garrison’s first step on the path to becoming Donald Trump started with the 2015 episode “Where My Country Gone?” and a microaggression committed against the Canadian immigrants of his class who just needed to express their religious freedom mid-lecture. Sadly, Mr. Garrison’s acrimony toward Canadian customs would later come to a head when he nuked Canada and murdered Canadians en masse — but he could never finish them off. If you wanna beat the Canadians, just like Chuck Mangione, you gotta Give It All You Got.