Bill Maher Posts Bizarre Video with His Pilot to Explain Stand-Up Show Cancellation

Bill Maher just posted a lengthy interview with cannibal fetishist and accused abuser Armie Hammer, who spent over 90 minutes lounging in Maher’s dank, liquor bottle-filled male sadness cove (perhaps inadvertently proving the existence of karma). But earlier that day, Maher delivered some sad news to his fans in the Midwest: He had to cancel his show in Milwaukee. 

Maher’s “WTF? Tour” was all set to come to Milwaukee’s Riverside Theater on July 14th, thrilling fans of HBO’s Real Time, and confusing fans who thought they’d bought tickets to see Marc Maron. But Maher never actually made it

His Milwaukee stop was scheduled to occur just one day before the Republican National Convention, which also ended up being just one day after a gunman shot up a Trump rally. So some folks may have assumed that there were more political reasons behind Maher’s cancellation. But in a social media video, Maher assured his followers that this wasn’t the case. He was told that downtown Milwaukee was going to be “closed off” for “security reasons” due to the convention, thus preventing him from accessing the theater, but he had still resolved to travel there. Maher further stressed that he’s only ever missed two stand-up dates in his entire life, once due to weather and once because “the plane broke,” adding, “Well, you know what, the plane broke again.”

To prove that he wasn’t lying, Maher dragged his private plane’s pilot into his video, in order to “testify because I know there are a lot of conspiracy theorists out there.”

“I could tell you for 10 minutes what broke, but it just broke,” said Steve the pilot. “It wouldn’t have been legal and it wouldn’t have been safe.” 

Maher even said that he tried booking a (gasp) commercial flight to Milwaukee, but wasn’t able to. 

Incidentally, Maher has previously compared his personal use of private jets to “heroin” in a segment that really illustrates just how lax those “New Rules” are.

At the very end of the video, Maher attempted to get ahead of any potential internet detectives. “Steve works for CNN, I know that’s a big trigger for conspiracy theorists,” Maher confessed, also noting that his pilot previously “worked for the FBI, (but) that’s really not part of a conspiracy, either.”

“I just can’t keep a job,” Steve replied. 

Okay, to be honest, I wouldn’t have cared about this story at all before, but now I am kind of curious as to why a man who appears to be the former FBI Supervisory Special Agent who served as the “head of Al Qaeda investigations for the Los Angeles FBI” is flying the star of Pizza Man from gig to gig.

Maher did note that his Milwaukee fans “probably couldn’t have gotten to the show anyway” due to the security blockades. So they’ll just have to make due with watching him drunkenly debate increasing ghoulish celebrities on his YouTube show/cry for help.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter (if it still exists by the time you’re reading this).