Everyone is Just Now Realizing That Marge Simpson Is in an Ancient Egyptian Coffin

We tend to get a lot of spurious news stories claiming that The Simpsons somehow prophesied major events. Which is obviously ridiculous. If the makers of The Simpsons were able to see into the future, they probably would have handled the Apu controversy differently and just might have reconsidered the episode predicated on the idea that it would be fun to watch Bart palling around with Michael Jackson.

But now the predictors have become the predicted: Some news outlets, including The New York Post and People, are reporting that Marge Simpson’s image has been discovered on the lid of an ancient coffin. 

Which sure sounds like a bullshit story designed to lure you into clicking on an article full of ads for boner pills, but it’s kind of true. Experts found a significant historical find, but everyone on the internet just sees Marge Simpson. Yeah, that’s totally Marge Simpson.

As amazing as it is, though, it’s not exactly news. It actually happened in October 2023, and we first mentioned it last November. So, really, this find is news the way the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie is news. That said, it is surprising how perfectly preserved the lid of the coffin was, complete with “detailed carvings and paintings” as was the style at the time.

Technically, the coffin lid depicts the “deceased, deities and scenes” from the The Book of the Dead, which is a “collection of spells intended to assist the dead in navigating the afterlife.” But for some reason, the largest of these figures bears a striking resemblance to housewife, mother and potato enthusiast Marge Simpson.

Fans online were quick to point out the similarity joking that “Egypt predicted The Simpsons” and “Matt Groening really is a time traveler,” a reference to one of the many internet conspiracy theories involving the show’s creator. 

The historical example of such a similar design may speak to the universality of Groening’s characters. Although it’s unclear whether or not the blue crown was also created to hide a set of rabbit ears.

The coffin itself belonged to Tadi Ist, the “daughter of the High Priest of Djehouti in Ashmunein,” and the designs reference each hour of the day. “It is a rare and important scene ever. Every scene of the hour has its shape,” the chief of the Supreme Council of Antiquities stated.

Another mummy was found as well, but since its final resting place contained absolutely no references to the Fox network’s primetime lineup, nobody seemed to care. Let us know when you turn up an ancient artifact with Bob Belcher, Stewie Griffin or even someone from The Critic.

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