Jerry Seinfeld Crushes Frasier Crane in the War of the Womanizers

When it comes to winning women’s hearts and bringing them to bed on 1990s sitcoms, we can conclusively determine that stand-up comedians have the edge over radio psychologists — I mean, just look at the WPE (women per episode).

In the decades since Seinfeld and Frasier were two of the most talked-about and critically beloved shows in all of television, the sitcom trope of “leading man has a lady love of the week who rarely sticks around longer than one episode” has fallen far out of fashion. Whether the decline of the 20-plus episode sitcom season, changing cultural attitudes toward playful philandering, increased awareness of venereal diseases or some combination of those trio of factors are behind the disappearance of comedic womanizing, the result is unmistakable: Sitcom characters simply don’t pursue casual sex as often or with as much success as they did back in the golden era of funny guys who fuck.

One creative fan of the 1990s comedy shows on which a new young, beautiful actress made her network primetime debut playing the temporary love interest of a comedian with a thinning hairline each week decided that the sexual conquests of Jerry Seinfeld and Dr. Frasier Crane deserved statistical analysis in order to determine which title character was the best at getting laid while getting laughs. Here are his findings…

Now, of course, @masonReloaded’s record-keeping is by no means an indication that Jerry is the all-time ass-getting gold medalist. As other Twitter users were quick to point out, some of the most legendary lotharios in comedy history have not yet had their scores tallied. Joey Tribbiani from Friends would certainly have an outside shot at the title, having shared a (whew) “hunting ground” with Jerry during roughly the same era, and Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother fame put up insane numbers in New York City not long after Seinfeld hung up his sneakers.

However, no matter which challenger deigns to step into the ring to try and claim the belt for biggest multi-camera Casanova, in this head-to-head heavyweight matchup, the results are unmistakably in, and the judges have awarded Seinfeld with the title of “Most Prolific Sitcom Womanizer.” 

Both in boxing and in the bedroom, the old phrase rings true — down goes Frasier.