Six Out-of-Context ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Quotes That Makes the Gang Seem Like Really Good People

The top times Dennis, Charlie, Mac, Dee and Frank almost seemed like not-assholes, assuming you knew nothing else about them

If you only ever witnessed the Paddy’s Pub gang while they were on their best behavior, you’d think that they were all upstanding, conscientious citizens who just want to save dumpster babies from the foster care system — right after they finish putting on the shoe polish.

Dennis, Mac, Charlie, Dee and Frank are the five worst people in Philadelphia, a city where the righteous and the moral aren’t exactly the majority. Rob McElhenney, Glenn Howerton and Charlie Day designed the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia characters to be the absolute worst of us, embodying every selfish, stupid flaw in the human psyche as they terrorize everyone with the misfortune to cross their paths. But every now and then, the gang catches on to the changing times and makes a half-hearted, completely empty attempt to be empathetic and socially aware individuals when it serves their schemes.

As such, here are the best It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia quotes that, in a vacuum, make members of the gang seem like they’re not the absolute scum of the earth, starting with…

Mac: “Somebody threw this baby in the trash. We can’t just put it back into the system. It is a terrible system. It’s a horrible system”

Mac champions the cause of parentless children in “The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby” — for about an afternoon. Then, he decides to try to turn D.B. into a child star. There are roughly 400,000 children stuck in America’s foster-care system, but only one of them got painted brown by a couple of strangers while two other maniacs fought over an Ali Baba sword right next to their stroller.

Dennis: “If we don t stop global warming, we are going to destroy this environment”

In the same episode as the last entry, the Golden God finds his conscience and becomes a straight edge, mainline, weekend warrior, only to get punked out by some hippies and immediately reverse course. That poor tree didnt deserve what happened at the end of the episode, but Sage kinda did.

Dee: “I, for one, am of the belief that some things can’t be thrown in the trash, Frank, and your sexuality is one of them”

One of the best running gags on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia is that, despite being racist, misogynist and xenophobic bigots, the gang has been gay-friendly since the very beginning, and Dees anti-conversion therapy argument in “The Gang Recycles Their Trash” would make her seem like an ally if not for all the hilarious twink-twonk-twank taxonomy talk that preceded it.

Mac: “We have a social responsibility to provide a safe haven for these kids to be kids”

Without context, youd think that Mac was the co-owner of a roller rink or an arcade — you know, places where kids can safely go to be kids. But, no, Mac co-owns and runs security for a bar that doesnt card teenagers in “Underage Drinking: A National Concern,” leading to Dee and Dennis getting into some shadily statutory situations.

Frank: “You do whatever you feel like, you re a good person”

Letting a dear friend be themselves and find happiness however they choose is a noble sentiment — unless youre that friends AA sponsor, and that happiness comes from spiking a milk bowl with bath salts. In “The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre,” Franks “support” of his sponsoree Pondy nearly spells the end for a bunch of inbred Philadelphia hill people.

Dee: “If were all the same in there, then why dont we just focus on treating other people the way we want to be treated?”

In “The Gang Solves the Bathroom Problem,” Dees endorsement of tolerance and inclusion sounds like it should settle any argument over gender and bathrooms, but thats only because its missing context — despite the high-mindedness of her plea, Dee was interrupting the group in the middle of a debate. Shut up, bird.

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