What Actually Happens If You Give a Cat Lasagna Like in ‘Garfield’?

There’s a new Garfield movie out tomorrow, and while most people are asking why Chris Pratt was chosen to replace Bill Murray as the voice of Garfield, the movie’s release has reignited a curiosity I’ve had ever since I was a kid: What would happen if you actually fed a cat lasagna?

I have two cats of my own, but I’m leery of just handing them a tray of lasagna like Jon does to Garfield. After all, lasagna takes over an hour to make, and I’d hate to waste my time like that — to say nothing of the intestinal distress I might be causing them. And maybe even death?

On that count, Neus Torrent Ample, head of innovation at Outdoor Bengal and a certified veterinarian and feline nutrition expert, tells me, “The first time your cat eats lasagna, it’s likely to experience stomach upset and possibly diarrhea. Moreover, in the hypothetical situation that your cat regularly consumes lasagna, like the fictional Garfield, it’s at an increased risk of developing metabolic diseases and chronic inflammatory conditions such as obesity, diabetes and potentially even cancer. This heightened risk stems from the fact that our typical lasagna recipe is laden with carbohydrates, which are unnecessary and even harmful for cats, as they’re strict carnivores. Additionally, onions, often found in lasagna, are toxic to cats and can cause serious health issues, like anemia, when consumed regularly or punctually in high quantities.”

The TL;DR version: Unless you’re looking to slowly murder your cat via obesity or poison them more quickly with onions, giving them lasagna is ill-advised. 

That said, Torrent Ample does say, “However, if you are keen on offering your cat lasagna, you can modify the traditional recipe to better suit its physiological needs. Minimize the amount of pasta and opt for gluten-free, whole grain varieties. Increase the proportion of meat compared to vegetables and pasta. Minimize the vegetables and opt for carrots and spinach, which are preferable to tomatoes or other vegetables. Replace gratinated cheese with nutritional yeast for added flavor. Avoid adding seasoning such as salt, sugar or sauces.”

So unless he’s looking to fulfill a death wish, Garfield really ought to start refining his palate ASAP.