16 Times Jerry, George, Kramer or Elaine Killed Someone on ‘Seinfeld’
In the notoriously lackluster Seinfeld finale — which, admittedly, has been somewhat enhanced by the recent spectacular Curb Your Enthusiasm finale — Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer go to jail for not helping someone in need. And yet, the Seinfeld gang was guilty of crimes far worse than that, some of which resulted in the deaths of people both on- and off-screen.
With a tremendous amount of help from Eric Dobin and Adam Pacecca, hosts of The Place to Be: A Seinfeld Podcast, here is every person the deadly Seinfeld gang killed. Maybe not every one of these murders could be proven in a court of law, but Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer are most certainly to blame.
Manya
In Season Two’s “The Pony Remark,” Jerry offends his relative Manya by saying he hates anyone who ever had a pony growing up. “I had a pony!” Manya shouts before leaving her family dinner early. A few scenes later, Jerry gets the news that Manya has died. Obviously, his callous pony remark had something to do with it.
Marty Benson
At a comedy club softball game mentioned in “The Pez Dispenser,” Kramer tells a guy named Richie to dump a bucket of Gatorade over club owner Marty Benson’s head after a big win. Richie does it, and Marty Benson catches pneumonia and dies. Whoops.
Smog Strangler Victim(s)
When Kramer moves to Los Angeles, he’s arrested under suspicion that he’s a serial killer known as “The Smog Strangler.” However, the real Smog Strangler is Tobias Lehigh Nagy (played by Clint Howard). At one point during “The Trip: Part Two,” the police have Nagy in custody, but he’s set free by George, who leaves the door open on the cop car Nagy is in. The Smog Strangler then strikes again, which allows Kramer to be freed, but it adds another death to the Seinfeld gang kill count in the process.
Also, we never find out if the Smog Strangler is ever caught, so there could be several more deaths as a result of George’s negligence.
George Grandmother
In “The Bubble Boy,” George recalls visiting his grandmother in the hospital, resulting in her death. “My grandmother died two months early because of the way I reacted in the hospital,” he explains. “She was getting better. And then I went to pay her a visit. She saw my face. BOOM. That was the end of it.”
Russell Dalrymple
In a desperate attempt to impress Elaine, former NBC President Russell Dalrymple joins Greenpeace and drowns in the ocean.
An Escaped Mental Patient
In “The Bris,” as Kramer is visiting friends in the hospital, an escaped mental patient asks him where the elevator is. The man then goes to the roof and jumps off of it.
Fulton
When Jerry tries to cheer up his friend Fulton, who is in the hospital, by doing his best stand-up material, Fulton ends up literally dying of laughter. It’s a joke about the Justice League that puts Fulton over the top.
Pinkus
Poor little Pinkus. If not for Kramer being such a stickler when playing golf with his friend Steve Gendason, Gendason wouldn’t have been put into a rage that results in him killing his dry cleaner: Bobby Pinkus.
Gary Fogel
Jon Lovitz was introduced as Gary Fogel in Season Six’s “The Scofflaw,” in which he lies to Jerry about having cancer so Jerry will buy him a toupee. A few episodes later, in “The Face Painter,” Jerry attends Gary’s funeral after Gary dies in a car crash while adjusting his toupee.
J. Peterman’s Mother
Feeling compelled to share his secret ATM code with someone, George whispers “Bosco” to J. Peterman’s dying mother. For some reason, this triggers her, and she starts shouting “Bosco!” before dropping dead. Although she didn’t have long to live anyway, George seems to accelerate her death, and J. Peterman certainly blames him, as the episode ends with Peterman saying, “His name was Costanza. He killed my mother.”
Susan Ross
Seinfeld’s most infamous death, of course, was that of George’s fiancée, Susan, who died by licking poisonous envelopes that George picked out because they were the cheapest ones.
Brett
As Jerry is using an ax to try to free Japanese businessmen from inside Kramer’s dresser, Elaine’s boyfriend Brett tries to stop him. This only results in a concussion, but Brett dies on the operating table when his surgeon becomes distracted by the song “Witchy Woman.”
Mrs. Hamilton
When dating a woman named Valerie, Jerry ends up in a competition with Valerie’s stepmother over their respective places on Valerie’s speed dial. In time, Valerie’s stepmother becomes attracted to Jerry, which prompts her to hide Jerry in her speed dial under the button for poison control. So when Valerie tries calling poison control because her stepmother is ill, she gets Jerry instead.
Neil
In “The English Patient,” George competes for the affection of a woman named Danielle with a man named Neil. Neil ends up winning after he lands in the hospital, provoking Danielle’s sympathy. However, on his way out of Neil’s room, George disconnects Neil’s IV, which, depending upon the attentiveness of his nurses, may have resulted in Neil’s death.
The Old Lady at Del Boca Vista
When Kramer retires to Del Boca Vista in “The Wizard,” he dances a bit too vigorously with one of the residents, forcing her to leave via ambulance.
Zach
When Kramer is transporting Newman via rickshaw, he takes a break to stretch while pulling Newman up a hill. As soon as he lets go, the rickshaw rolls away and runs over Elaine’s boyfriend Zach, probably killing him.