Roastmaster General Jeff Ross Says Nothing Is Off Limits for Tom Brady Skewering

In football training camps and practices, violent defenders are forbidden from crushing quarterbacks. But there will be no such kid-glove treatment for Tom Brady at his comedy roast this weekend, warns Roastmaster General Jeff Ross. The champion quarterback told Ross and company, “Go for it. Nothing's off limits.”

But does Brady know what he’s in for? “Sometimes, people say ‘Go for it, nothing's off limits,” said Jimmy Kimmel during Ross’s appearance on his show last night. “And then you start talking and it’s like, ‘Oh, I made a very big mistake here.’”

“Well, he did ask us one thing,” Ross admitted. “He asked us not to mention his prosthetic leg so that we won't do.”

It’s been a while since Ross has done a big celebrity roast, about five years since comics fired up that Alec Baldwin barbecue. He’s ready to get back into full roast mode. “This is the part I love,” he says, “The process of trying out the jokes, talking to my buddies about it.” 

Ross was cagey about who would join him on the dais, promising “a few giant surprises.” But he did reveal a few of the participants or at least audience members — most of Brady's Patriots teammates will be there along with players from his world-champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers team. Ross also promised vengeful insults from Drew Bledsoe, the New England quarterback whose injury allowed Brady to see his first on-field action. “Gronk is going to be there,” said Ross, “although he thinks he's going to the Oscars. He keeps asking me if he can introduce Best Supporting Actor.”

“Can he read?” asked Kimmel.

“No,” came Ross’s quick reply. “The Patriots playbook, he had to use the audio version. Gronk can’t even spell NFL.” Hey-o!

While Ross wouldn’t reveal everyone, he did run down a list of other roasters, including host Kevin Hart, Nikki Glaser, Sam Jay, Tony Hinchcliffe, Andrew Schulz, Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer and Malala. He was probably joking about Malala, even though Ross promised she’d “be going in hard this time.” 

One sports-like aspect that promises the chance for actual hurt feelings? The roast will be broadcast live, a first. “I remember quite vividly the editing process after these roasts,” says Kimmel. “People are like, ‘Oh, that one’s too much, you have to take that out.’” 

But Ross says there will be none of that and Brady is here for it. “The thing I love about Tom Brady is he's a student of the roast. He told me it was his dream to get roasted. He’s brave, man.” 

Is Ross ready to do some damage? It sure sounds like he’s smitten with the former Patriots QB. “He is dreamy,” Ross swooned. “He looks like AI created a Queer Eye. Tom Brady is so beautiful he looks like a Westworld robot escaped.”

Better keep finetuning that material, Roastmaster.