This Is the Biggest Waste of Money in U.S. Military History

I think that for even the most jingoistic among us, the U.S. military budget is still a little staggering — especially because of the hospital-Advil style markups they charge taxpayers for basic equipment. Even the most budget-ignorant interior designer to the stars would be answering questions over spending $1,280 on a cup. For that price, it better refill itself with fresh, drinkable water using alchemy.

However, there’s one military project that’s particularly infamous for the sheer amount of money it’s burnt: the Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II stealth fighter. It’s not just the retail price of a single one of these planes, though $100 million a pop definitely stings for anyone that’s ever transferred savings to checking to pay rent. It’s the greater price of the over 20-year research and development program that went into a plane that the military doesn’t even really like.

First off, it's the most expensive weapons program in U.S. history. No, not the most expensive failed weapons program, but the most expensive weapons program period. If something’s going to hold that title, you would hope it made war obsolete altogether. Instead, it’s a single not-great plane. 

The total financial damage of the F-35 program? $1.7 trillion. 

Which I don’t think still does it justice, because it’s hard to imagine just how insane of a number a trillion is. We’re talking about a million dollars squared, then almost doubled on top of that. The cost of making this one dogshit plane makes up five percent of our entire national debt. By the way, though there are completed F-35s being used today, the program is still officially in the “development phase,” 23 years after it was launched in 2001.

So what’s wrong with them? Dan Grazier, an expert on the aerial shitshow that is the F-35, explained it to CNN. The idea behind the F-35 is that it would be able to do the jobs of multiple specialized aircraft, all in one. But it is very much not able to. Apparently, those top aerospace engineering programs don’t ever teach the phrase “jack of all trades, master of none.” The F-35 is basically an airborne, $1.7 trillion spork. 

Don’t believe me? Listen to the military themselves, trying to explain why they need a new plane to replace the F-35, which they never even officially finished.