This Is How Larry David Shuts Down ‘Curb’ Fans’ Episode Suggestions and Selfie Solicitations

As one of the most famous figures in comedy, the cantankerous Larry David needs to have a strategy for warding away unwelcome attention from strangers. Sometimes, a MAGA hat just isn’t enough.

David’s public popularity is one of the biggest contradictions in all of celebrity culture. Anyone who is a fan of his work on Seinfeld and/or Curb Your Enthusiasm should understand that the cranky creator behind two of the most beloved sitcoms in TV history isn’t one for small talk, unnecessary social situations or compulsory conversations with people he neither knows nor wants to know. As such, it would seem self-intuitive for true LD fans who catch a glimpse of the comedy icon out in public to give him his space. Sadly, though, so many Davidians don’t respect their leader’s peace and quiet — or even his creative autonomy.

During his recent appearance on Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, David discussed the uncomfortably common occurrence of a fan approaching him in public to either request a picture or suggest a plot line for the next season of Curb. David said that, in both cases, the answer basically boils down to, “I can’t, my hands are tied!” And, as everyone knows, those are special hands.

It takes a very confident kind of idiot to try and tell Larry David how to write a comedy show, but when David encounters one of those idiots who swears they have an Emmy-worthy idea for a Curb episode, he tells them, “Let me stop you right there. The Writers Guild forbids me to hear ideas from other people, so I’m sorry. I’m sure it’s a great idea, but I can’t hear it.” And, since only a stupid person would tell David how to do his job, the plot-line pitchers buy his excuse every time.

However, when it comes to pictures as opposed to pitches, David has a little more trouble. He let Conan in on an advanced technique he recently developed, telling him, “I tried something new, I said, ‘You know what? I can’t take pictures outside.’” David explained that claiming the lighting is prohibitive for possible fan photo-ops works both ways, saying, “And then when I was inside, I would say to people, ‘You know what? I can’t take pictures inside.’”

David said that the only downfall of his selfie-dodging technique is his satisfaction at his own brilliance, reporting, “It started out okay, and then I sort of couldn’t get through it without laughing.”

Overzealous fans might feel insulted if their idol laughs in their face when they ask for a picture, but they should count themselves lucky — it’s still better than what David did to Elmo.